.reminder.

I received such a kind e-mail today from someone who was gifted one of my bracelets for Christmas. She told me the bracelet brought her so much joy and she wears it daily. Her compliment just reenergized me and I was so grateful to receive her words - but - I thought why do I wait (rely) on those outside compliments to remind myself of my value? I know the value (beauty) of my work. Each piece of my jewelry is a long intimate journey of processing something occurring in my life in that moment. I design - fabricate - finish - each unique and one-of-a-kind.

Why can't I grasp it's beauty until someone from the outside describes it? 

This moment was such a good reminder of how so often I forget myself - my story. This process of remembering who I am - who we are over and over again. I pledge to continue to jump inside myself this year!

How do you remember your unique story?

.the wave is coming.

I've been spending a lot of time being busy lately. I do this before a shift of change happens - I can feel it and instead of sitting and looking at it directly I start moving faster - doing more - connecting less. 

I met an artist at a wedding this weekend. We were taking the bus over to the wedding venue and she was sitting right behind me. She was such a beautiful thoughtful woman - she was so open to share about her art and journey with me, we just connected instantly. I was asking her what medium she usually works with and she started to share that she's always experimenting but lately having moved to live on a farm in the country she wasn't making as much and felt a change coming. I totally understood what she was saying and shared that I had quit my job a year ago to do my art almost full-time and was now feeling a shift coming in how I spent my time. I sometimes feels so privileged to share that I quit my job to make art and she was so quick to ask "but WHY do you feel that way? Because our society doesn't value art. We value people living lives that they have been told/conditioned to follow and we get stuck there because change is SCARY. Good for you for not listening to that!" It's those beautiful little moments that I know I am right where I am suppose to be and that I have to stay open because the Universe is always sending me messages that I need to hear to be reminded/encouraged along this path. I agreed with her that change IS scary that my go-to is usually to really follow my heart and then right as a shift is coming I get nervous and go back to working a job in public health where I can get consistent pay and benefits. I asked what her art was evolving into now and she said "I don't know. It just feels like something big but I don't know what it is yet." I totally agreed with her sharing that to me it feels like this big wave is building up inside of me what I don't know where it's going to take me too. She said "I use that wave analogy all the time for change." 

So grateful for all these moments of authenticity - moments of clarity - moments of connection. 

.stop look go.

I just watched this TEDtalk, How to be happy? BE grateful. It holds such a simple powerful reminder  to be grateful in every moment. To slow down in this busy life and take a moment to - stop look go - to find the time/chance to BE grateful in this moment. There are going to be challenging things that come for all of us and in those moments we have to look for the deeper lesson but mostly life is full of wonderful things that we miss because we are moving too fast. This video was such a great reminder for today - a new year - the beginning of this new journey for me to - stop look go.

.to do list.

I had such a reminder this week to

s l o w down

take d e e p e r breaths

p r a c t i c e gratitude

l i s t e n more  and  t a l k less

do l e s s with m o r e intention

b e mindful

.presence.

New England is such a bold teacher. Just one week ago it was 74 degrees and I was riding my bike in a tank top and short shorts. Today it was a high of 43 degrees and I rode my bike with two jackets on and my fleece neck warmer. The temperature drop seems so rapid - so drastic like we skipped over fall in a few days but that is just New England. The weather forecast says that it will be 70 again in a few days. A lesson reminding me to be present. To be fully in the moment. To soak up the sun and warmth when it's 70 degrees and savor the cold  40 degree weather that encourages me to root down into my work and make delicious nourishing food. Be mindful and find gratitude for what I have in the moment. 

I saw this today, the Universe is always teaching me if I are open to see/hear it.

To be mindful is to be fully present with whatever we are doing. If you are drinking tea, just drink your tea. Do not drink your worries, your projects, your regrets. When you hold your cup, you may like to breathe in, to bring your mind back to your body, stop your thinking, and become fully present. In that moment, you become real and the cup of tea becomes real. In this state of true presence and freedom you enjoy simply drinking your tea. 

- Thich Nhat Hanh

.6 years apart.

I just realized its been 6 years to the day since I returned from Ecuador - the emotions swelled up inside of me and crashed inside like that most incredible wave - taking my breath away (knocking the wind of out me for a moment) - the nostalgia. The joy - the sorrow of 27 months of my life from which it all pivoted - revealed - altered - destroyed - rejuvenated. Ecuador ripped my soul to shreds - broke my heart/spirit/body in ways I didn't know were possible. It left me washed up on the shore with no strength to get up or knowledge of where to go - so I rested for a while - I wondered if I'd ever find the strength to stand up but I did get up - I pulled myself up because I had no other way - option. 

I wandered for a good while - I followed people/signs/flashed of light - aimless until I realize that all that weakness/wounds/sorrow were the greatest gifts - ripping me free from myself - from the narrow world i'd known. Everything was open to me. My broken heart was an expanding heart.  My lost mind was my freedom. This journey is so much more complex - rich - vibrant than I could've even imagined.

Ecuador I am forever grateful
for you
you changed my life
it's been 6 years and I think
i've only began to understand
our journey together.
_________________________________________

From my last blog post in Ecuador, August 5th 2009:

"Ecuador has become home, not easily but it has and that it what has made the end of this time so beautiful, all the struggle that I encountered along the way. I’ve seen so much; I’ve been shocked, surprised, devastated, infuriated, elated making it impossible to tell you how my life is going to change and has changed. But my ambitious wish is that my actions will be the example of the changes. That I won’t even for a moment forget this life, the voices, the smells, the struggle, or the heartache. I hope to always be afflicted by the voices and the faces of those born into injustice. That the small amount of exposure you’ve had from my journey has given you a glimpse of Ecuador, a vibrant country full of wonders and struggle and from which I’ve realized despite how great our differences may seem our few commonalities will always hold us together, as one race.

So to you all I send you my love and gratitude for sharing this journey with me. I give thanks to pachamama and the people that showed me the immense beauty in life's simplicities."

.the pond.

It's was almost six months to the day since I had been to the pond. I was walking on the path, around the cove right before you arrive at the original site of Henry David Thoreau's house and the wire fence snagged the scarf I was holding. It was almost exactly the same place that the wire fence snagged my jacket those 6 months ago. It's amazing the energy and messages place hold for us.

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Do you ever have experiences like that? A tiny moment of connection? New awareness?