.2024 stitch journal.

 2024 was my second year to finish a stitch journal. I used a linen cotton blend leftover from my summer workshop at the Grunewald Guild, a vibrant mustard yellow with a royal blue #8 thread. I started with my word of the year - devotion - there's a few definitions for devotion. I was drawn to these two most - an act of prayer and the act of dedicating something to a cause, enterprise, or activity. For me, the word represented an open heart and mind - the dedication to being fully open + present to live and what it would bring. It was so fitting, as this year brought so much newness and unknown to me. Life is an experience and I am a devote student.  I stitched it in the middle of the journal/piece of fabric to remind myself every day. Then slowly started stitching blue circles, one circle for everyday. It feels so good to have compete my second year of this tradition/practice. 

I love having a piece to hold the year. A year of so much. 

.becoming and becoming.

January is the perfect season for slow stitches. I find myself squeezing in time to finish the quilting on this lap sized quilt I'm calling "becoming and becoming." Not for the need to finish it quickly but the need to be in the meditation of stitching. 

It's been a very slow project, starting with the hand dyed indigo cotton from over a year ago. I knew when I dyed the yardage I wanted to include it in a quilt. It's such a beautifully rich color. A quilt is something the quilter has to spend a lot of time with, so you need to find joy in the fabrics and indigo seems to be a color that just pulls me in.

In July, after my slow stitching class at the guild I knew I was ready for some hand sewing. I pieced together a tiny little log cabin square of indigo and white. I imagined a quilt of nine or twelve smaller log cabin squares but when sewing machine broke, I decided to let that be a creative invitation. So, by the time I added the fifth layer of the first square, I decided to keep building on the one square,  hand sewing alternating strips of indigo and white. After a few more layers, I allowed myself to release further into the project, letting go of the classic log cabin style, allowing improv and chance to design the quilt. If the indigo exceeded the length of a side, I cut it and continued onto the next side, disrupting the balance of the pattern, until suddenly I introduce bright yellow triangles illustrating the radiating/expanding energy of intention of the quilt - the forever process of becoming. 

This is my first fully handsewn lap quilt. The project has taken months and has been picked up and set down over and over again until finally layered and pinned up by the end of the year. That was my goal, to fit the quilt into 2024, perfectly lining up for a slow stitch project of January. I think this should always be my plan because the big canvas to stitch on feels like salve for the cold and dark soul of winter. 

To find the sweet meditative rhythm of holding all the layers together - round and round and round - until you read the edge and at that point I'm planning on adding an electric yellow/green stitches in a larger circle. 

And then I found this poem online, which seems to give words to all the feelings of a slow stitch and finishing this slow quilt in January. 

.I am expanding.

Suddenly, it's summer solstice. The dark days of January and whirlwind of April have evaporated into the longest day of the year. 

I didn't make it up for the first light. By the time I woke up at five, my living room was already full with light. Today the sun rose so far to the northeast I couldn't even see it from my window, falling exactly where the corner of my house meets between the two windows, making the softest filtered yellow glow this morning. 

I decided to restart my 4-15s creativity schedule. I'm feeling very creative lately, so many ideas! The structure of the morning routine (dedicated short readings) presents new perspectives! Today I picked up Designing from Nature: A source book for artist and craftsmen by Esther Warner Dendel. A book I found last year at the Grunewald Guild. Esther was an eccentric artist, sculptor, and prolific writer from Iowa, who was deeply informed by her time in Liberia. The book serendipitously opens talking about light. 

"Really noticing how light changes from hour to hour and trying to catch these changes in words makes any day interesting. The interest has to be in you, not in the sky. People say, "That doesn't interest me." They should say, "I have not interested myself in that." As soon as someone realizes that interest has to reside inside oneself, not in the thing being observed, the first step has been made toward richer life."

What I've interested myself with this week is an idea in the form of a quilt. There's something about the building of a quilt, the ritual - measure, cut, repeat - a meditation

piece, pin, sew, iron

piece, pin, sew, iron

The idea came to me, or revisited me from last summer, on an seemingly endless drive on I-90 East, the flat straightaways through the rolling wheat fields en route to Montana. 

A vision of expanding lungs, inspire - to inhale - expand. The embodiment of expansion. The reflection of my own ability to stretch/extend myself further/beyond in moments/seasons of connection and awe. The electricity of feeling alive, awaken from the monotony that we can some how get lost/numb to, on this beautiful magical journey of being human. 

Although, on this drive to an adventure, a new landscape, a reprieve. I imagined the idea in the form of a large scale sculpture - to be experienced walking in and around, eliciting wonder and awe in the manifestation of its form. I made a quick sketch when I arrived in Montana, and with no further care, the idea left. Monday the idea came back - all of a sudden - this time in the form of a quilt, making an abstract interpretation of ribs inspiring. 

It's a gift to be visited by ideas, so this time I took more care. Trying to tether more fragments than last time, I made a sketch, found scrap fabric, and started the meditation. 

measure, cut, repeat

align, pin, sew, iron

align, pin, sew, iron

adding a piece, adding a strip, adding the section

building/growing/expanding

with a special invitation to hand sew/touch every piece - slower - as my machine isn't working right now. It's a welcomed invitation to be more presented and grounded. To feel the expansion in this season of my life 

of summer, long days, adventures, dreams, and cosmic connection.

I feel myself expanding.

With the pieces coming together, I felt a hesitancy to the straight-ish lines. I don't tend to work in a very geometric approach. As everything I make is heavily touched by my hand and basic tools. But since I'm hand sewing the entire piece, I decided to use strips of fabric as soft start for hand piecing. Although, as I kept reading Designing from Nature, and it offered a new perspective on language of lines and my feelings of resistance to the rigidity.

"Speed, motion, rest , nervousnesss, strength, dignity, confusion, serenity -- all these quality can be communicated by line. What does a straight vertical line seem dignified, conservative, and astute? Why do we feel pensive under a weeping willow tree? 

"When one straight light crosses another at a right angle, the horizontal sometimes seems to be launching an assault against vertical. Yet, nearly all nonindustrial societies assign magical properties to crossroads. This is the spot where vital things happen. This is where the gods are to be invoked." 

She went on to explain the the asterisk is called the magic square by the Yorubas of Nigeria. 

"The arms of the cross point to the cardinal points of the universe and the diagonals to all four corner. You who make this sign are at the center were cosmic forces meet and concentrate"

To me THAT is true expansion. Esther's perspective feels like a beautiful invitation to reflect on the power of a line and explore/soften the lines into becoming a spot were vital things happen and gods are invoked. 

We'll see where it leads me! 

.stitch journal 2023.

 2023 was my first year to finish a stitch journal. I wrote about the project at the beginning of last year in a blog post. I used fabric from an old dress and bright red pearl cotton #8 thread. I started with my word of the year - attune - to bring into harmony. I stitched it in the middle of the journal/piece of fabric to remind myself every day. Then slowly started stitching red circles, one circle for everyday. The first month or so I had a different stitch pattern for each day until I decided to simplify with just a circle - no drawing or template, just organically stitch, each with their own uniqueness. I love having a piece to hold the year. A year of so much. 

.stitch journal.

 I started a stitch journal this year. The original idea, I believe, came from Claire Wellesley Smith, author of many books, including Slow Stitch: Mindful and Contemplative Textile Art. It's a simple daily practice. It will be a beautiful reflection upon the end of the year. Even this morning, only five days into the new year, it struck me how illusive time is. The new year feels so far out until it arrives, and time speeds up, and we're almost a week into 2023. 

I love the presence of this practice. As I mentioned in my last post, I selected a word for this year - attune. To find harmony continues to resonate. I stitched attune in the middle of the journal/piece of fabric to remind myself every morning of this intention. 

.weekend mood.

The fierce but tender and sensual wind wraps around me

as if to say - I am here

- it's ok to let go, a little bit

the wind always feels softer in the heavy humidity of summer.

it almost hides the sounds of 

summer construction

flights taking off and landing

children tired and hungry

but not quite - the city is still here

always making its presence known.

The light and shadows of the tree dance on and off of me

I wonder if I can find that lightness - flow

.day 18.

If you follow my instagram, @aeodesigns you've probably noticed a lot of posting around the topic of slowing down in my lifestyle and process of making jewelry. I'm actually not even making jewelry right now. l know I came into this experience saying "I don't know what it will hold but I'm down for whatever comes"...EXCEPT I assumed I would be making jewelry, of course. After meeting with my teacher and showing him my work to which he reply, "It's nice - very rustic and simple. You can make any kind of jewelry you want. I know people like rustic things but in my studio every piece is finished professionally." I thought that sounds good to me, I can always be more professional. The next day I started my first exercise, I was to make a perfect square, rectangle and triangle each out of one piece of wire. It took me 3 attempts to make an ok square and 4 hours to make all 3 shapes. The exercise brought up so much for me!! I left the studio feeling overwhelmed and drained. 

Art is my meditation. It has been one of my greatest teachers - it challenges me - pushes me inside myself to see an honest reflection of my shadows and my light. 

In that first studio session I had this domino of emotions within those 4 hours, first seeking validation from my teacher then finding frustration in how my time was directed and then a whole lot of self-judgement. I spent most of the actual class time trying to be the best student - seeking that validation of skill from him. It wasn't until the class was over that I took time to step back and think about the class - how did it feel? what did I learned? - I starting feeling frustrated I just spent 4 hours and X amount of money learning how to make a square, rectangle and triangle. For what? I've been doing metal work since 2009! I shouldn't be spending my time here on such a simple exercise. Then I realized that I was doing that exercise because I didn't know how to do it. It seems obvious to say that but it was the truth. I've taken a handful of metalsmith classes in Seattle and Chicago but honestly most of my learning has been in the studio by myself just trying things. I am a creative and one of my greatest abilities is to improvise.  I think because of my life choices and experiences I have had to practice this, a lot. Improvising comes naturally to me now, so I use it. I rely on it. I practice it. Improvisation is in my art. I decide what I want to make and figure out how to do that with my limited skill set. I can always get to the destination I want so I don't focus on finding/adding new skills. This was a big a-ha! for me. I became overwhelmed with self-judgment of being 31 (almost 32) and realizing that it's hard for me to invest in things. I start things - I pick things up and set them down. I started counting how many different jobs I've had in my life, it's a BIG number. I've picked apples, worked as a barista, walked dogs, caught babies in a birth center, created a community garden at a health center, taught sex ed, been a hostess at a fine dining restaurant, facilitate a maternal health task force in subsaharan Africa...the only thing to do when you get this deep into self-judgment is called someone that loves you. I called my Mom. She told me to feel the change - all these beautiful vibrant life experiences have brought me to this moment. Where do I want to go from here? I realized I just needed to change my perspective, not to judge but to appreciate that something is shifting inside of me. I think I'm ready to focus - to invest - to be open to diving deeper into something.

.stop look go.

I just watched this TEDtalk, How to be happy? BE grateful. It holds such a simple powerful reminder  to be grateful in every moment. To slow down in this busy life and take a moment to - stop look go - to find the time/chance to BE grateful in this moment. There are going to be challenging things that come for all of us and in those moments we have to look for the deeper lesson but mostly life is full of wonderful things that we miss because we are moving too fast. This video was such a great reminder for today - a new year - the beginning of this new journey for me to - stop look go.

.morning walk.

I've been staying outside of the city for a few days. There was this magical nature trail just 2 minutes from the house - I woke up yesterday morning and went for a slow walk. It was so grounding to start the day out - observing - with no one around. I took the path to a big grassy field - I was engulfed in the sweet silence only broken by the birds calling across the field to each other. I haven't been wrapped up in silence in a long time, I need it. There's so much inspiration in the silence - in feeling overcome by a space. 

"All we need is the morning. As long as there is sunrise, then there is the possibility that we can face all of our misfortunes, celebrate all our blessings, and live all our endeavors as human beings."

Deng Ming-Dao

.to do list.

I had such a reminder this week to

s l o w down

take d e e p e r breaths

p r a c t i c e gratitude

l i s t e n more  and  t a l k less

do l e s s with m o r e intention

b e mindful