.day three.

I woke up feeling sick today - I felt it coming yesterday, the last few days. I am so frustrated to be sick when all I want it is to be out exploring, meeting people and digesting all the colors - texture - sounds. I text my Mom my frustrations and she reminded me of the lesson that seems to be reappearing in my life, she said "just surrender to it." I know. I need to surrender to a lot of things - this year, this little town, this project, the hold of the past, my expectations...I'm laying in bed drinking tea with my balcony doors open to the street below - just surrender.

It's so hard for me to just be but if I am going to be influenced and changed by this place and the next few weeks I have to surrender to its plan/journey/process for me.

.day one.

I arrived in Tavira yesterday afternoon and felt like I woke up in my teenage european fantasy! I have wanted to come to Europe forever - here I am, 31 and finally here!  This trip just seemed to fall into place for me and to be honest I really don't know what will come of it. I have some hopes and intentions for this time but who knows - I think this trip will be as mysterious and magical as it's arrival. No matter what evolves/appears/reveals from the next 8 weeks I am already grateful for it. 

For the chance to S L O W down - 
to realign my energies - 
to refocus my path/direction - 
to practice M O R E gratitude - 
to be more O P E N - 
to G I V E time to discovering the story of my art
to E M B R A C E impermanence
to R O O T deeper into myself

I'm excited to share this time/experience with you all. Thank you for all the love and support.

.trusting my process.

I've been thinking a lot about how much time (energy) I give to judging myself - judging my process. 

I found this picture from the road trip with my sister this summer up the New England coastline. I was so frustrated with myself this summer. I had just made a shift to allow more time/space/energy to make more and yet I didn't want to make. There were days of wondering if I made the right decision - judging myself - forcing myself to make things. I couldn't make anything I liked until finally I just let go. 

I let go to the whole process. 
I listened to my body. 
I went traveling with my sister up the coastline and totally fell in love with New England in the summer. 
I took a ferry to an Island in Rhode Island. 
I camped on Cape Cod. 
I watched the sunset on the beach and the blood moon rise. 
I went to the free city pool with a picnic like the locals. 
I fed myself with new places - new experiences. 

I needed it. 
I needed to feed my soul again. 
I needed to reconnect. 

Now the weather is cooling, I'm finding a rhythm, I have better access to myself and I'm making all because of this summer and trusting the process - my process. 

I hope you are listening to your process and trusting your natural rhythm because it will led to you where you need to go and give you what you'll need when you do get there.

xx

.trust yourself.

Today I went to the beach. I'm starting to feel anxious about the end of summer - about not being able to ride my bike/take the train or drive a car to the ocean and submerge myself in it's peace - purifying my mind/spirit from everything. 

I spent the day soaking up the delicious sunrise and diving into the sea, floating with my arms and legs stretched out in an X -
trusting in letting go -
to remember to trust -
to try to trust and be supported -
allowing the salty sea to hold me up.

While I was floating I kept hearing "listen to your heart" 
turn down that volume outside -
listen to your heart/rhythm/desires - 
TRUST YOURSELF.

I hope you're trying to float (let go) in your own way and I hope you find the  love and support when you do. 

.2015.

“These are times of decision, of change, of choice….it’s time for something to go, something to be removed. Anything that is inhibiting, holding us back, it can be a belief it can person, it can be a job, it can be a country…It can be anything that is holding us back. Now needs to go…it’s like we are being stripped of our known familiar sense of security, sense of identity, sense of who I am.”

“…So what is coming up now for so many of us is a new future…birth of the new always requires the separation from the known, familiar, secure past. It can be beautiful, it’s a flowering, it’s an opening, it’s a creation, and it can be very scary…

“…Now is the time for planning this future, and it’s a very good time for doing that and preparing ourselves…the ship’s gonna leave the port, the new paradigm is going to take off, and now we are packing our bags and have to decide what to leave and what to take….you cannot take everything with you. Now it’s time to choose.”
mysticmamma

What a sweet tender trying year this has been. I hold SOOO much gratitude for the pathway that so gently slowly brought me here.

I stayed out way to late/early last night for New Years Eve but the beautiful part of that is due to lack of sleep I had a slow day which allowed me to keep a quiet space for reflection and processing. I took time to reflect on some of these questions. I highly recommend doing this activity.

2014 was a travelling year for me. A year in which I visited all corners of the states by car, bus, bike and plane. A year of travel that forced me to let go of my control (plans) and let myself feel/face that discomfort.

Someone asked me once "What is the best gift you've ever received?" I had to really think about what the question was asking and when I understood I said "the kindness of strangers". People ask me, Why do you travel so much? Why can't you stay in one place? And the only way to answer these questions and what I was so fiercely reminded of this year is the kindness of strangers (humans). That powerful human connection that can only happen when vulnerability is being practiced. I am not good at being vulnerable but traveling (the unknown) forces me to be vulnerable, to ask for help - to accept the help - to practice gratitude for the kindness of strangers and kindred spirits alike. It's in THAT space that I can see the world/humans/my journey in the most beautiful/purest of light. This year has been SO fruitful and overwhelming and exhausting because of vulnerability.

So much gratitude and love for everyone reading these words may they remind you of the challenges from this past year that have strengthen you and help you to let go of the ones that weakened you. THIS is a brand new moment of infinite possibilities.

Much love to you.

.vancouver.

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right."
.Henry Ford. 

This weekend my sister and I ventured north to Vancouver (did you know it is the #1 most livable city in the world?!?!? I'd believe it!!) for a yoga conference. Vancouver wooed us to say the least - authentic conversations were had with strangers, doors were held open, delicious ethic dishes were consumed, oms were chanted, and afternoons were spend window shopping locally made goodies. It was such a rejuvenating weekend to be in such a lively friendly city.

We spent Saturday enjoying the free yoga classes to the max. At the end of the first class (heart opening) the next instructor came in before we could roll up our mats so we felt it was only right to stay for the next one (gratitude yoga) which was just as great so when it was time for the third class (yin yoga) you guessed it, we stayed. 2 straight hours of yoga. I don't remember feeling that relaxed/energized/rejuvenated ever! During such a time of transition yoga is what brings me back inside to look honestly at myself and I am grateful. 

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I was sipping a bedtime yogi tea (have you had yogi teas? so good. and bedtime...whoa. trust me you'll be ready for bed after it.) and the tags always have thoughtful quotes - this one in particular spoke to me. It said:

"Empty yourself and let the universe fill you" 

What a beautiful thought - let the universe fill you - let life happen - have faith in the moment - trust your intuition - love yourself enough to be just you. What empties me? Yoga and Art. They release it all and leave me feeling open and ready.

Have you even thought about what empties you? What charges you? I hope you give yourself time to really examine that and to incorporate whatever that is in your daily life because you deserve it. You deserve more - you deserve the best life.

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right."

If you think you deserve it - then you do. If you don't think you deserve it - then you don't. 
What are you are seeking you WILL find.

Love to you on your journey.