.2024.

a picture from my front window at 12:00AM on 1/1/24

May 2024 bring:

Devotion

Discernment

Joy

Adventure

Intentionality

Meaningful relationships 

Community 

Space to create

New perspectives 

Groundedness

Clarity

Nature

Vast spaces 

Newness 

Familiarity 

Nourishing conversations 

Written letters

New recipes

Shared meals

Rituals

Seasonal attunement

Good books

Learning 

Peace

Serendipitous moments

Belonging

Laughter 

Playfulness 

Dips in the ocean 

Kayaking 

Sunbathing 

Hikes 

Camping 

Coffee outside

Explorations 

Courage 

Gratitude

Love

Hugs

Kisses

Late nights 

Early morning adventures 

Joy - resounding joy

Rest without need for validation 

Soft days

Deep breaths 

some pictures from the almost annual Ancient Lakes hikes....oh the beauty!

. plum island.

I went to Plum Island on New Year's Eve - to walk thru wetlands, listen to the birds and to see the fierce waves - to feel the freedom of the ocean even in 19 degree weather. I walked the beach in silence thinking about intentions for 2017. I thought about how I want to find more time for moments like this one. 

I flew west, again a few days ago and here I am starting anew for 2017.  Wondering what is next for me...a Brazilian friend who has just arrived back in the states after 6 months away said to me, "I went home for some months - adentro - where there isn't much but it was so good to have to jump inside myself. " I loved that, jump inside myself! I don't know how my plans for 2017 will unfold but I hope above all I jump inside myself.

.2 0 1 6.

I LOVE the transition into the NEW YEAR - it's so refreshing to me. I'm a nomad, of course my favorite time of year is going to the beginning! I was also a birth worker for a time so I really love new beginnings - birth - the sweet first moments - the possibilities - the dreams - the energy!

I'm thinking so many things right now on the the last day of 2015. I'm thinking I can't believing I'm getting on a plane tomorrow for PORTUGAL! I'm thinking I can't believe that is was 10 years ago that I started this nomadic journey of a life. I'm thinking this year has been so beautiful - in such a raw personal way. I'm thinking where do I want to go in 2016?

I posted this quote last year, but I'm posting it again because it's SO good and SO true. It's time to make a decision - embarking on the new year - what are you going to take? what are you going to do? where are you going to go? what do you WANT?

“These are times of decision, of change, of choice….it’s time for something to go, something to be removed. Anything that is inhibiting, holding us back, it can be a belief it can person, it can be a job, it can be a country…It can be anything that is holding us back. Now needs to go…it’s like we are being stripped of our known familiar sense of security, sense of identity, sense of who I am.”

“…So what is coming up now for so many of us is a new future…birth of the new always requires the separation from the known, familiar, secure past. It can be beautiful, it’s a flowering, it’s an opening, it’s a creation, and it can be very scary…

“…Now is the time for planning this future, and it’s a very good time for doing that and preparing ourselves…the ship’s gonna leave the port, the new paradigm is going to take off, and now we are packing our bags and have to decide what to leave and what to take….you cannot take everything with you. Now it’s time to choose.” 

mysticmamma

TEN YEARS ago I was freaking out sitting in LAX at midnight with all the lights out, there was only about 20 people around. I had a moment of wondering if the airport was actually closed - if we were stranded and I just wasn't able to understand the announcement in Spanish. I arrived in Mexico in the early morning hours of the new year feeling sick to my stomach - why did I ever want to come to an unknown town where they speak an unknown language for 10 weeks?! I continued to freak out for the first few weeks and felt like crying everytime someone tried to ask me something that I didn't understand (despite years of Spanish classes) but I figured it. I feel in love. I was forever changed by that tiny unknown town where they spoke that unknown language. Here I am again 10 years later starting the new year in an airplane flying off to an unknown town where they speak and unknown language. I had my obligatory freakout moment yesterday and called my Mom. WHAT was I thinking? 8 weeks? I don't even speak Portuguese? Why did I think that was a good idea? She reminded me (as she always does) this is who I am - this is what I do - I seek - I explore - I challenge myself. 

Sometimes I feel like life is so overwhelming and complex and other times it just feels beautiful. It just feels beautiful right now - to be scared - to be able to have found my art - to be able to have the freedom to travel - to be able to have found a town that I am really going to miss while I am away - to be able to hear my true voice - to be able to start to accept myself for who I am. I let go of some labels this year that has allowed me to be right here. 

I'm taking these words into this new year. To continue to honor and respect myself for WHO I AM in my purest (ever evolving) form. To STOP hiding behind things - To STOP reaching outwards - To STOP choosing others over myself . To let go of the lies and root into myself so deeply that I can't get lost.

"All these years of practice have made you a master of pretending to be what you think you are. And that distorted image of yourself is really your grave, because the real you is not the one who is living your life.

“And who is living your life? …Is it the real you who judges yourself and punishes yourself… Is it the real you who abuses your body? Is it the real you who doesn’t even like yourself? Is it really the real you who is dreaming all that? No, it’s not the real you.”

“When you recover awareness, you resurrect and come back to life."

.2015.

“These are times of decision, of change, of choice….it’s time for something to go, something to be removed. Anything that is inhibiting, holding us back, it can be a belief it can person, it can be a job, it can be a country…It can be anything that is holding us back. Now needs to go…it’s like we are being stripped of our known familiar sense of security, sense of identity, sense of who I am.”

“…So what is coming up now for so many of us is a new future…birth of the new always requires the separation from the known, familiar, secure past. It can be beautiful, it’s a flowering, it’s an opening, it’s a creation, and it can be very scary…

“…Now is the time for planning this future, and it’s a very good time for doing that and preparing ourselves…the ship’s gonna leave the port, the new paradigm is going to take off, and now we are packing our bags and have to decide what to leave and what to take….you cannot take everything with you. Now it’s time to choose.”
mysticmamma

What a sweet tender trying year this has been. I hold SOOO much gratitude for the pathway that so gently slowly brought me here.

I stayed out way to late/early last night for New Years Eve but the beautiful part of that is due to lack of sleep I had a slow day which allowed me to keep a quiet space for reflection and processing. I took time to reflect on some of these questions. I highly recommend doing this activity.

2014 was a travelling year for me. A year in which I visited all corners of the states by car, bus, bike and plane. A year of travel that forced me to let go of my control (plans) and let myself feel/face that discomfort.

Someone asked me once "What is the best gift you've ever received?" I had to really think about what the question was asking and when I understood I said "the kindness of strangers". People ask me, Why do you travel so much? Why can't you stay in one place? And the only way to answer these questions and what I was so fiercely reminded of this year is the kindness of strangers (humans). That powerful human connection that can only happen when vulnerability is being practiced. I am not good at being vulnerable but traveling (the unknown) forces me to be vulnerable, to ask for help - to accept the help - to practice gratitude for the kindness of strangers and kindred spirits alike. It's in THAT space that I can see the world/humans/my journey in the most beautiful/purest of light. This year has been SO fruitful and overwhelming and exhausting because of vulnerability.

So much gratitude and love for everyone reading these words may they remind you of the challenges from this past year that have strengthen you and help you to let go of the ones that weakened you. THIS is a brand new moment of infinite possibilities.

Much love to you.

.año viejo.

In Ecuador at the end of a year they go to great lengths to build/create "años viejos" which are life size puppets made of various materials - you will find them looking as though they are of the same image as the creator or some pop culture figure. They are then on the 31st surrounded by parties, food, and dancing then light on fire at the culmination of the night to represent the burning of all the "bad" parts of the year to bring goodness into the new year. I love this tradition. Looking at ways to improve and bring more light and love into the coming year.

What would you burn?


I wouldn't burn any experience from this year however you want to classify it - there was a lesson to learn. I would burn some of my more classic tendencies: hot headed nature, impatience, and future planning that always takes away the power of a moment.

ruby jean

This year has been one of the most beautiful years of my life. This year was started in on the shores of Lake Malawi and will end in my hometown surrounded by family mourning the loss of my Nana, Ruby Jean. My year started with a new culture, new job, new country, new continent and to end with a sweet sweet goodbye to the most pure hearted woman I have ever known that raised me with strong values, a servant's heart, and fierce strength. How symbolic to have a year starting with birth and ending with death.

In many ways I feel like this year has pushed me to the limits of my known self allowing for a new perspective. Living in new surrounding and experiencing life in a new transition I'm ending 2012 feeling full of questions and fragile but at the same sense full of hope for 2013 and all the answers it will gather and the new sensitivity to NOW.

I'm so beyond grateful for the company of new and old teachers I have met along the way this year. 
I hope you let the refreshing newness of 2013 wash over you and exhale the truth that all we have is right now.

Much love to you all always.

two of my favorite teachers