.blood moon.

Harvard at night.

With all the eclipse of late, full moon and the budding of spring days (FINALLY) I am feel so much energy to create - process - express. 

Spring is such a beautiful time of rebirth. 
Are you feeling it? 
How do you process - express - experience the unfolding of spring? 

The unfolding of spring has been such a physical experience this year - season - time for me. I had a strong urge to totally rearrange my room on Friday night - late. Saturday I made a nature mobile of things that I collected on a walk I took Friday. It's so beautiful to have these reminders that my body knows what I need so much more authentically than my thoughts - that false reality that is created by thoughts. I love those reminders when two totally separate events come together so perfectly and seamlessly - I couldn't of planned it. I went to the studio Saturday afternoon with no plans and created a beautiful ring that seemed to just come through me. 

Also, my birthday is coming up this week and like a mystery I found this amazing yoga and hiking retreat on my birthday. I felt like it was just what I've needed but it was full. I called to be placed on the wait list and they just had an opening. Gratitude to The Universe for the beautiful season of love and rebirth after all the heavy deep dark soul work of winter. 

Life is in bloom. I hope you take time to sit in the moment and smell the beauty that is this wild illusion.

.i am t h i r t y.

I turned 30.
So much emphasis is put on that number.
I put so much emphasis on that number.
That moment.
The definition of that moment.

I've had the most beautiful 20s
10 years of true adventure - living in Mexico, Ecuador, Malawi - traveling extensively through Chile and Argentina - reconnecting with my homeland of the Central Washington
Started a jewelry business that is still going and even more fulfilling than when I started
I have worked alongside many Midwives and caught 5 babies with my own two hands
I've cracked my heart a few times and but it wasn't until it shattered that I realized I've had a guarded heart -
I drove 2,000 miles to Texas only to leave 4 month later with a heavy heart - to say this doesn't feel right to a forever dream - to drive another 2,000 miles home to see the true beauty of this country.

If there's one lesson I've learned over and over it's the endings always bring healing - regrowth - vibrancy
a life well lived
I embark on the beginning of my 30s striving to worry less - have more fun - look back less often
a year of new adventures:

traveling
hula hooping
loom weaving
giving proper energy to my jewelry business
letting go of the shame
melting my anger with gratitude
taking care of myself
more dancing
more FUN
perfecting the perfect loaf of bread
consuming more fermented food
building my trust circle
legit bike touring
committing to my meditation practice
more vulnerability
and always choosing courage over comfort

 

.mi fuerza.

Saturday I was first up to "catch" at the clinic. I ended up having two back to back long labor sits. The first one was 12 hours long and when she reached our time limit (state laws and midwifery practices don't agree or make sense most of the time!) we had to transfer her care to the hospital it was awkward - sad - frustration - isolating. But since I didn't "catch" I was back up again and at 12:50am another third time Mama came and things looked to be going quickly but the third baby is always a wild card. She was also a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which meant I had to check fetal heart tones every 15 mins. And after 6 hours and 24 rounds and no sleep she requested to be transferred to the hospital because she had been in labor for 3 days and she was tired (and in need of family support that wasn't there).

It was my longest shift - emotionally and physically. I came home and drank a big mug of calming skullcap tea and slept for a few hours. 

It's always a strange feeling - a day after shift - an incomparable haze that comes over you. You have to move your body no matter how tired you are - the key to success. So Bianchi and I headed out to explore a bike trail on the westside. 

The sun was setting and there was even a few trees changing colors - an almost fall evening. It was beautiful and cleared my mind. I was thinking about the day - the night - the shift and realized through these uncomfortable - unsure - cumbersome - clumsy moment that I'm slowly realizing all my abilities.

In the weakest of moments is when I only begin to find my strength.

estoy encontrando mi fuerza.

and once again remember that it is the fragility of life that makes it all that more beautiful.

.sunday night rides.

Today I am open to the presence of miracles.

(The Chopra Meditation Challenge starts today!) 

i went for a long ride sunday night (and thankfully got back before the flash flood warning went into affect). 

i live in a beautiful place.

some days it feels like life is so heavy but today - yesterday there was a lightness in the air. 

the beauty of life broke through the clouds.

there is so much breath in this life. 

there is so much beauty in the details - in the encounters.

some times (i'm sad to say) it takes until the end of a transition for me to really step back and feel the beauty of it. 

to be grateful of the authentic people in my life.

to savor the fun found in being present - letting go.

to stay up way to late at a fiesta that costs more than my entire college education.

.beautiful.

yes yes yes!

.a walk.

Oh weekends, you are a wonderful time to REJUVENATE! Especially with the sun shinning bright - spring is HERE! I've realized that since returning from Malawi - I NEED time outside - I CRAVE time outside. But with a desk job and a 30 minute lunch the weekends are GO time. This weekend I discovered a new trail.

Isn't is magical to find something new (especially in an old "known" place)?

I spent part of my Saturday there and then return on Sunday just to have a little more time exploring more. Then I received my copy the Rose Bakery (a bakery in Paris) cookbook in the mail!! A beautiful hardback book filled with rustic fonts and endearing, unpretentious photos. I have a desire to make every single recipe SO GOOD! So I started with the Honey Granola (see picture above!) Is anyone familiar with the Rose Bakery?

.views from above.

change your perspective - change your mind