19 December 2014

.studio time lessons.

The process of creating/creation/creativity is one I have traveled so many times and yet it seems that I still find myself reacting to the ebb and flow of it all. I am back in the studio. I am so excited to be back in the studio and actively creating wares. Whenever I return to a studio space after a while I have to find my rhythm and balance all over again. The process of creating. My emotions flow from excitement to overwhelmed to overstimulated to frustrated to angry to emotional victim (in the worst/most stressed situations!) and then...balance.

I was commissioned to make earrings and a pendant for the holidays. I have a tight deadline to get them in the mail and a very busy work/life schedule this month. Last night I went into the studio late to “finish” the earrings and start on the pendant. It had already been a very long day and I had already restarted the earrings 4 times. I was quickly transitioning from a place of frustration to anger. I started finishing up the earrings with polish but something still didn’t feel right. I was in the final polish phase and one of the prongs broke off. I was so frustrated. It was late and realizing I was going to start the earrings all over for the 5th time. I called my sister for some design/logistic support, as I always do. I was so tired and just started listing off all the reasons I could validate my victim label…I haven’t had enough time, I haven’t been in the studio for a while, I  don’t have the materials I needed, I don’t like working with stones, I don’t have a local store to go to, I have too much work this week, I have too much going on, I am not inspired in the city….just feeling the role of emotional victim establish roots in my mind and body. I started to hear what I was saying and started feeling the knot in my stomach tighten as I added to the long list of victim validations. It wasn't working. It wasn't helping. I wasn't moving forward. I went back to my bench and pushed the earrings aside and started working on the pendant because it knew where I wanted to go with the pendant. I started feeling stronger and confident in the piece. I felt energized to be progressing on it. I ended up staying super late but I finished the pendant and started working on the earrings. A design idea/solution for the earrings came to me as I was finishing up the pendant.

I realized/acknowledged for the first time in a while that this is just the process of creating/creation/creativity. It’s the ebb flow of things but when I hold onto a phase or react it only dampens the process and holds me back. I was graciously reminded to let go. To not hold on so tightly. To not react to things so strongly. I need to see one side in order to understand the other side – that is how it will always be but the emotions of that process are within my power.

And then this morning I found this on a blog I love,

“The search for security is an illusion. In ancient wisdom traditions, the solution to this whole dilemma lies in the wisdom of insecurity, or the wisdom of uncertainty.”

“This means of the search for security and certainty is actually an attachment to the known. And what’s the known? The known is our past. The known is nothing other than the prison of past conditioning. There’s no evolution in that…”

“Uncertainty, on the other hand, is the fertile ground of pure creativity and freedom. Uncertainty means stepping into the unknown in every moment of our existence. The unknown is the field of all possibilities, ever fresh, ever new, always open to the creation of new manifestations…”

“In your willingness to step into the unknown, you will have the wisdom of uncertainty factored in. This means that in every moment of your life, you will have excitement, adventure, mystery…”

“When you experience uncertainty, you are on the right path so don’t give it up. You don’t need to have a complete and rigid idea of what you’ll be doing next week or next year, because if you have a very clear idea of what’s going to happen and you get rigidly attached to it, then you shut out the whole range of possibilities…”

I need to remember to be more open to this journey. To let the process take me where I need to go. Whether I am in the studio or at work or with the newness of 2015 - it's all the same lesson.

YES YES YES!

14 December 2014

.weekend.

I had the best weekend. ever. I completed my orientation and testing at a local makers space on Friday!! Which meant that I spent 13 hours between Saturday and today in the jewelry studio space creating! It felt so good. so good to have a full studio with torches and all the tools I could ever want. Both yesterday and today I had to force myself to leave the studio. There is always another projects I want to try. 

Tonight I came home after 6 hours in the studio and realized how much energy I had - it struck me = comparing my energy to how I feel at the end of a work day and my energy after a whole day in the studio is drastically different. I finally admitted to myself - I want to jewelry. I don't want to do jewelry to recharge my energy from the areas in my life that drain me. I want to do jewelry to do it. To do something that feeds my soul so fully.

This has been such an amazing year - in the raw unfinished imperfect way - that has refocused my mind - enlightened my soul - healed my spirit - pronounced my unspoken truths. I am excited for 2015 and all the needed/necessary/exciting changes that are going to happen.

I also updated my etsy shop for the last time this year. Be sure to check out the new wears - lots of beautifully raw tarnished copper pieces and fiber/metal pieces (see some of the pieces pictured above). Thanks for all the love and support, always. If you find something you like for yourself or a loved one - all jewelry purchased by Wednesday, December 17th is guaranteed to make it to you before the 25th. Perfect for easy last minute shopping (I'll even wrap it and mail it to them if they don't live where you live!!).

02 December 2014

.staying present.



Sometimes with daily life I get caught up in the disconnect I create (which I usually confuse with boredom). Today I woke up to an overcast day and for some reason started thinking about last January on my road trip back to the Northwest. I had just celebrated the New Year with my Sister in Arizona and was starting the first solo leg of  the trip. I camped out at Joshua Tree. Waking up to nothing but a blank day, a mug of pour over coffee and a sunrise. I felt such a surge of freedom. All those possibilities lie in today just as much as they did then. I hold onto these assumptions and expectations that provide a false sense of reality (limitations - captivity) that that freedom can only be found moving. 

Today is a blank day, with a mug of pour over coffee and a sunrise. 

How are you going to spend your day? What are ways you stay more present in this moment? 




01 December 2014

.cyber monday.


For today only I am offering 20% of all my clay necklaces. Be sure to check out the etsy shop today!

29 November 2014

.small business saturday.


It's small business saturday! A wonderful reminder to shop local and shop small this holiday season. Support your favorite small businesses and artists. If you are looking from some beautiful new earrings for yourself, family or a friend then check out the lastest aeo etsy shop updates! 

Happy Holidays to your and yours.

18 November 2014

.new projects.


I can’t help but be a little on edge. 
There is no reason to be. Habits ingrained into me. 
Acknowledging these learned ways and deciding to unlearn them. 
Deciding to be patient with myself. 
Deciding to turn down the volume of their remarks. 
Deciding to be present in the moment. 
Deciding to be honest with myself. 
Deciding to speak my truths/wants/boundaries. 
Deciding to let go just a little bit of my expectations. 
Deciding to absorb the beautiful energy and see where it takes me. 
Deciding to explore this new place.

*gratitude*

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Photo: This is a weaving project I was working on last night. I found this beautiful oatmeal colored yarn at the goodwill last week and envisioned a weaving projects...here it is unfinished. I have always loved fibers but it seems to be growing in strength lately. I decided to just try something, making a weaving frame from an old photoframe. I think it might become an earring holder. We’ll see...

11 November 2014

.layers.

"Life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition."

- Florida Scott-Maxwell



The complex layers of it all - 
deeply intricately delicately impressionably interlaced together
The wave of a new connection
An inspiring element
The fierce reminder of a wound
That drop in my stomach when my shadow is projected on your story
A quiet stagnant moment
All flowing seamlessly into this very place - 
balancing the joy and the sorrow – 
the roller coaster 

Until I realize that my sorrow is what allows space and rich definition to my joy