04 March 2015

.sage hills.


This bitter cold of New England winter has made me ache for the rolling hills and valley of Central Washington, home. It's strange and beautiful that no matter how many places I visit/discover/experience it's always Central Washington that feels like home. It hasn't always been like that. There was an awareness/connect that settled into me from my time in Malawi, so many things were given to me in Malawi. A time to connect with the place I was living. When I returned to Washington after the land felt different - I felt connected to the hills - I needed to spend time on those hillsides. When I was in El Paso I had the same urge - I would go to mountains whenever I could - getting lost on a trail in the Franklin Mountains which gave me air and space but not the clarity. This year has found me out east in Boston and it fits for now. It is giving me so much in it's own way - giving me a lessons that can only come from a city but this long cold winter (it snowed last night!!)  has made me really miss Washington. 

I am an artist and I process my emotions though creating - leading me to my latest collection of jewels, Sage Hills. Each piece of this collection holds an element of that land and those beloved sage hills.
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That hot dry sun with a gentle breeze
Looking down on the valley with the river 
flowing through the land
The hollow echoes of open space
With a gentle smell of sage
A stark - simple loneliness
A freedom - no expectations
Open faced and openhearted
Pulsing earth
With stories to be hear
Slow down
Connect
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Be sure to check out the new wares in the aeo etsy shop.



20 February 2015

.black new moon.


The cold foggy scene from Boston on the black new moon.


Some of the latest creations from the studio.
aeo designs etsy shop update is happening sunday.

hope everyone is staying warm.

10 February 2015

.words to live by.


Winter is hard. Or rather this winter has been hard for me, challenging. Forcing me to sit with myself, breathe deep, share little tiny spaces with a lot of strangers, wait and wait and wait a little bit more for something to happen or to get somewhere, to expect the unexpected, to work extra hard with nothing in return, to ask the difficult questions and be ok with not having answers...and just when the day seems so long and I am ready to yell or run to hide in my room - I am given the most beautiful sunset. Calming me - reminding me that there is beauty/purpose in everything, I just have to allow myself to see it. 

I read this quote in a blog this morning and loved it. So much truth in it.

"Who you are is what has happened to you. Separate yourself from the learnt experiences of others. They are not you. Remember them, but remember also that the actions therein are those of another person who has experienced another life. They are not your actions. They are not your experiences. They are not your opinions, not your problems, not your anything. They are not yours. Separate yourself from what you have heard and been told and live in your now. Your now is where you are at this very moment. Your now is what is around you. Your now is how you feel when you close your eyes and breathe in slowly, and out slowly. Take control of your now. Be your now. Be you."

mexico rosel

25 January 2015

.snow day.




It's been a very dry New England winter, cold but dry. So when I woke up yesterday morning I was surprised and a little excited to see the huge snowflakes rapidly falling. Maybe it was just the change - the new energy that it brought. I've always loved fresh snow for it's ability to make things feel so quiet and calm. I walked to my jewelry studio and the city seemed so zen - like the snow had forced (allowed) all these busy people a chance to slow down - to take a breath. Or maybe it allowed me to take a breath from the city. 

20 January 2015

.expectations.


Expectations.

Always seem to sneak up into my mind without me even noticing. This weekend I was still on the mend from the flu and embracing this cold weather I delved into myself and spent 14 hours between Saturday and Sunday in the jewelry studio working on a new collection that is slowly revealing itself to me. It's really magical to watch the process unfold and feel myself tense up and let go as the  pieces morph into what they will become. BUT expectations. Saturday right in the middle of that strong free flowing river of creative energies something occurred that made my body tense up, heart sink and my eye well up. The shift in energy was so dramatic. 

What happened?

I knew exactly what happened. I didn't get what I wanted. I gave something with hidden expectations. When it was returned NOT in the way I wanted I gave it all my disappointment/energy. This is a thing that I do. I keep looking outside. I keep grabbing onto something. I keep doing things for something. I woke up this morning and was graciously reminded that nothing is going to come back in the exact way that I want/need/expect. By giving out all my good energies with expectations I only end up draining myself.

Stop running away from myself. Stop searching outside of myself.

When I acknowledge that love/validation can only be found inside of myself ONLY then I can appreciate anything that IS given to me as gift - love. To truly realize that I am receiving the best that can be given (which will most likely be different than I want/expect) in that moment  - the best, that is beautiful. 

Oh winter I don't know if you have even taught me so many lessons.
Much Love.

08 January 2015

.weather for the soul.

a central washington winter a few years ago.
I woke up this morning to a broken furnace and no heat at my house. The outside temperature was 1 degree. One degree. I am not a winter person. I’ll take a summer day any day – everyday.

I was complaining about the weather to a friend who is a New England native and they said, this weather is for the development of the soul. It stopped my words and made me think. The development of the soul? I've been thinking about those words today and realized the truth in them. The way in which winter/bitter cold forces me to dive into myself/move slower/just be in a way that I find so challenging.

In this way winter offers a gift to me that the fun lightness/energy/fun of summer never could. I rode my bike to work yesterday, it was 16 degrees. I've never ridden my bike in weather colder than 20 degrees. It was a shocking stinging pain despite all the layers. I found a new level of endurance and mind over matter in the cadence of the ride, a determination and focus that I had to access.

And then I read this quote in another blog this morning:

“When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. . . . Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.”

- Hermann Hesse

All thoughts flowing together, all we have is this moment. Express gratitude for the elements that help us dive inside to that place to better understand “home”, to develop our souls or open our eyes to new layers of awareness. Whatever words you associate with the process of understanding all the things we don’t understand.

Much love to you all.
Stay warm and embrace the season. 

01 January 2015

.2015.


“These are times of decision, of change, of choice….it’s time for something to go, something to be removed. Anything that is inhibiting, holding us back, it can be a belief it can person, it can be a job, it can be a country…It can be anything that is holding us back. Now needs to go…it’s like we are being stripped of our known familiar sense of security, sense of identity, sense of who I am.”

“…So what is coming up now for so many of us is a new future…birth of the new always requires the separation from the known, familiar, secure past. It can be beautiful, it’s a flowering, it’s an opening, it’s a creation, and it can be very scary…

“…Now is the time for planning this future, and it’s a very good time for doing that and preparing ourselves…the ship’s gonna leave the port, the new paradigm is going to take off, and now we are packing our bags and have to decide what to leave and what to take….you cannot take everything with you. Now it’s time to choose.”
mysticmamma


What a sweet tender trying year this has been. I hold SOOO much gratitude for the pathway that so gently slowly brought me here.

I stayed out way to late/early last night for New Years Eve but the beautiful part of that is due to lack of sleep I had a slow day which allowed me to keep a quiet space for reflection and processing. I took time to reflect on some of these questions. I highly recommend doing this activity.

2014 was a travelling year for me. A year in which I visited all corners of the states by car, bus, bike and plane. A year of travel that forced me to let go of my control (plans) and let myself feel/face that discomfort.

Someone asked me once "What is the best gift you've ever received?" I had to really think about what the question was asking and when I understood I said "the kindness of strangers". People ask me, Why do you travel so much? Why can't you stay in one place? And the only way to answer these questions and what I was so fiercely reminded of this year is the kindness of strangers (humans). That powerful human connection that can only happen when vulnerability is being practiced. I am not good at being vulnerable but traveling (the unknown) forces me to be vulnerable, to ask for help - to accept the help - to practice gratitude for the kindness of strangers and kindred spirits alike. It's in THAT space that I can see the world/humans/my journey in the most beautiful/purest of light. This year has been SO fruitful and overwhelming and exhausting because of vulnerability.

So much gratitude and love for everyone reading these words may they remind you of the challenges from this past year that have strengthen you and help you to let go of the ones that weakened you. THIS is a brand new moment of infinite possibilities.

Much love to you.