12 February 2017

.what now.


I am forever curious. It's something that I pride myself on - it's something that allows me to take brave jumps into the unknown over and over again. It's also something that keeps me painfully aware of this internal compass, that despite my best attempts to ignore or drag my heels into the ground it wakes me up in the middle of the night and doesn't let me go back to sleep. I can list off every single one of these instances - they are branded in my memory maybe as reminders that against my initial reactions things will work out - this is just the process. 

I remember 5 years ago I was living in a restored barn in a small town north of Seattle working as a Health Educator at a Community Health Clinic. I had just returned a little over a year from serving in the Peace Corps for two years in Ecuador and I started to feel that internal compass. My days were running into each other - my energy was sagging - the question, what now. I had been contemplating whether or not to go to midwifery school and had also applied to water sanitation program with Peace Corps Response in El Salvador. The midwifery school invited me to come do a 24hr shift at the birth center and 2 two weeks later Peace Corps called me to say that the water sanitation program didn't exist anymore but they thought I would be the perfect candidate for a new program in Malawi. Wait, what? Where? I didn't even know where Malawi was, I am a traveler but really I was a Latin American traveler. All my experiences of to that point had been to Latin America. That is where I travel - that is where I want to travel - I speak Spanish. The birth center was in El Paso, Texas just a mile from the border. I know Mexico. I love Mexico. I've been working with moms and babies forever - it's what I do. It seemed like the perfect fit - a longtime goal/dream. I went to the birth center for a 24hr shift. It was small and chaotic - it was Mexico. I loved it. A returned home and within a few weeks a receieve a letter of acceptance to the midwifery program and an offer from Peace Corps to go to Malawi for 9 months. I didn't know what to do. The midwifery program seems like the perfect fit but there was something about Malawi that I just couldn't say no to. I ran all the possible what ifs over and over in my head, made pro and con lists for both and then called my mom. She asked why I wouldn't go to Malawi and I said, "Because I'm scared" and she said, "then you already have your answer." That curiosity - that internal compass sometimes starts out looking/feeling like fear and when I walk thru it I find the most beautiful things. I went Malawi. It broke my heart and healed it. It made me feel rooted and alive in ways I'd never experienced before. 

Curiousity is knocking at my door, again. I've been living in Boston for the past almost 3 years. That is the longest time I have spent in any one place since I graduated college (10 years ago!). It has been such an adventure living on the east coast - it's a different world from the west coast in so many ways. I took risks - I learned a new speed of life - I became bolder from the city - I explored New England - I met new people. It was feeling comfortable but I started to feel that internal compass. I started to open doors to see what would come and out of nowhere an opporunity started to unfold from small town, Sun Valley, Idaho in the Sawtooth Mountains. A chance to work in reproductive rights. A chance to feel like I’m investing in what I believe during a time that demands us all to speak up. So I’m moving west again. I’m sad to leave that city I have grown to know and the little community I was apart of - it seems like with all things being questioned and challenged what we really need is community and love and support but I made the decision to live a life that demands risks - that expands and new places seem to be the way that my life unfolds. It seems we don’t always process our learning until we leave and I feel I am just starting to see all the love and support that Boston gave me, a tough love but a love nonetheless. A firmness that allowed me to grow taller. A pace that helped to begin to leave perfection aside for the opportunity to complete the task. I’m grateful for all the teachers I met in Boston. My heart feels sad in a lot of ways but also excited to see what unfolds in a small town in the mountains. 

10 January 2017

.reminder.


I received such a kind e-mail today from someone who was gifted one of my bracelets for Christmas. She told me the bracelet brought her so much joy and she wears it daily. Her compliment just reenergized me and I was so grateful to receive her words - but - I thought why do I wait (rely) on those outside compliments to remind myself of my value? I know the value (beauty) of my work. Each piece of my jewelry is a long intimate journey of processing something occurring in my life in that moment. I design - fabricate - finish - each unique and one-of-a-kind.

Why can't I grasp it's beauty until someone from the outside describes it? 

This moment was such a good reminder of how so often I forget myself - my story. This process of remembering who I am - who we are over and over again. I pledge to continue to jump inside myself this year!

How do you remember your unique story?

09 January 2017

. plum island.


I went to Plum Island on New Year's Eve - to walk thru wetlands, listen to the birds and to see the fierce waves - to feel the freedom of the ocean even in 19 degree weather. I walked the beach in silence thinking about intentions for 2017. I thought about how I want to find more time for moments like this one. 

I flew west, again a few days ago and here I am starting anew for 2017.  Wondering what is next for me...a Brazilian friend who has just arrived back in the states after 6 months away said to me, "I went home for some months - adentro - where there isn't much but it was so good to have to jump inside myself. " I loved that, jump inside myself! I don't know how my plans for 2017 will unfold but I hope above all I jump inside myself.

13 December 2016

.Full Moon in Gemini.


I've felt really overwhelmed lately by events and decisions happening in this world and the ambiguity of what's to come in my own life. Returning to the studio last week felt like a deep cleansing breath. Art allows me to ask all these questions with my hands and make something beautiful from the unknown. It allows me keep seeking when it all seems too much.

I met a woman this weekend, she asked if my jewelry had stories and I said "this is my journal. Each piece has a truth and story. It's my thing..." she answered "Oh yes, I cook". Tonight is the FULL MOON in Gemini asking us to not just be aware of this hurt (collective + personal) but to start to heal. Healing to me begins with learning how you ask your questions. What's your thing? Where do you find moments of peace? Are you giving time to that for the healing to begin? ✨This is important.

29 November 2016

.AEO essentials.

It's that time of year and I am offering my homemade body products for a limited time! I began making these natural products years ago for myself and friends as way to take charge of our own health in a more holistic way compared to mainstream products with unknown ingredients.

This year I am offering my AEO essentials: lip balm, lip tint and dream balm along with 2 NEW gift sets, WILD - for the rugged soul and UPLIFT - for winter wellness.

PRE-ORDER NOW and all orders will be mailed out by the 12/10 for holiday delivery.

Find all organic + handmade body products in the AEO etsy shop.

14 November 2016

.full moon SUPER moon in Taurus.

Some healing thoughts for this beautiful SUPER moon tonight! I hope it's clear where you are.


"Spend time in places where the land is untouched and wild and you can align your heartbeat with that of Mother Earth. Allow her energy to soothe our souls, ground us and remind us of what is eternal and true. We all belong. There is work ahead, but we are in this together. We are the bridge, and we must each individually and collectively continue to work on healing the divides."
We’re empowered when we enjoy the present, neither mourning the past nor dreading the future. We’re stronger when we let go of the toxic need to be drawn into intrigues and power plays."

22 October 2016

.what is the Universe whispering to you.

My sister was telling me about an article today that was titled, what is the Universe whispering to you? Tonight I went on a walk into the trees as dusk was setting in. I started the walk quickly - moving forcefully as if trying to free myself from something. Then the question came back to me, what is the Universe whispering to you? I started to walk slower to listen to the soft stream below - the gentle chirps of distant birds and felt the awareness of the air getting damper and colder - the autumn night settle in and then I heard: 


Be true to myself
Root myself
Love myself fiercely
Live slower
More being less doing


I kept walking into the darkness and repeated what I had heard a few times. I started to see the truth and also the pattern that when I start to find myself uprooting I find myself reacting which leads to doing more than being which leads to being more uprooted. 

So grateful for those tiny whispers and the clarity that always comes from a walk in the forest.

What is the Universe whispering to you?