23 November 2015

.AEO holiday trunk show.

The AEO holiday trunk show was beautiful! I'm realizing more and more my process and with that I am be able to see and feel my growth. I had my first trunk show in this space in July, it was a BIG personal challenge to make enough wares, figure out what I needed to prepare for the event and curate the living room to a temporary AEO gallery. It was exciting but also a project that was so much larger than I expected. The months since July have been huge for me as an artist - a change happened, I don't even know when it happened but something shifted, aligned. This trunk show was also a challenge but the rhythm of the process was easier to find, the curation of the space just happened and my ability to share myself as an artist - in vulnerability - didn't feel so revealing. I don't know how to describe it but I felt in myself. Do you know what I mean? Have you even felt that - when you don't need to reach outwards as much?

The trunk show also revealed that even beyond creating wares, the creation of space - curating an experience - evoking a feeling in others is one of my most favorite forms to share. It makes me feel connect - it allows me to imprint myself onto a moment - to take all my thoughts/feels and make it tangible in a way, if only for a moment.

Art is how I share myself - how I process all the wild unknown of life. I am so grateful to have found my art - to have begun to find my process/rhythm. To begin to realize that all my art is inside me - I hold it - always.

If you haven't checked out the new aeo shop, take a look! Holiday shopping deadline is December 18th! xx

19 November 2015

.to do list.

I had such a reminder this week to

s l o w down

take d e e p e r breaths

p r a c t i c e gratitude

l i s t e n more  and  t a l k less

do l e s s with m o r e intention

b e mindful

16 November 2015

.holding a candle.

Mystic Mamma always seems to know exactly what I need to hear/read. I saw this quote posted last night and the words just held me.
“In my own struggles and in my own darkness, I have found bits of gold that have changed me. One of those bits is the realization that we’re all connected, we all matter and that we’re not alone. There’s a whole world of people out here who care and understand.”
“If you’re in your own darkness, I’d like to offer that to you. Sometimes it can feel so black, like there’s no light anywhere. I believe though, that there is light, even when you can’t see it, that the people out here who care and understand are holding candles for you. And that candlelight is what you have to reach to and hold on to sometimes just to make it through.”
“I would like to offer a candle here. I would like to remind you that you matter and that your journey now will take you to your own gold nuggets if you let it. Honor yourself as you travel, and be gentle with yourself.”
~Terri St. Cloud via mysticmamma
I loved the imagery of someone holding a candle for me - someone holding a candle for another being - myself holding a candle for the people in my life.  It made me think about my first time living in Mexico. I was living with a family in Michoacan and working at the local clinic for a college internship. It was during the first week there I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a lit candle on the middle of the dining room table. My American mind thought that someone must've forgotten to blow the candle out, that's a fire hazard! The next morning I asked Clara, my Mexican host mom about the candle and she told me that their daughter was traveling to Mexico so they lit the candle for her safety. She asked me if I light candles for people? It seemed like such a strange concept to me, I said no. She went on to tell me that they always light candles - when someone is ill, when someone is traveling, when someone is having a baby, when someone is vulnerable.  I haven't thought about all the candles they lit while I was living with them for years. Reading that quote and remembering that moment really reminded me how Mexico opened my heart in such a huge way that time in my life. It was the first time for me to feel that deep connection in a situation that felt so unknown - to see/feel/experience their  the sense of community in a real way. The lighting of a candle for someone is such a small perfect example of that.
I am grateful for this reminder of all the candles that have been lit for me. I hope to light more candles for the people in my life - we need it - we need each other.

Love to you all, always.

12 November 2015

.unlearning reactions.

Do you ever mistake something for something else?

The cellular memory we hold in our bodies from old patterns (reactions) is SO deep and SO real. These feelings started to creep into my body yesterday - a numbness washed over me and an uneasiness settled into my stomach. I wasn't sure where it came from or why it was here. I called my Mom trying to get out all the words - the words laying in a mountainous pile deep inside of me - picking them up off the floor of my pelvis bowl (energy center). I was hoping that she could help me organize my words (thoughts) to ultimately reveal the truth underneath - the cause of it. I took a walk in the cold dark night, zig-zagging the streets releasing the words into the autumn air. The release helped me to find a pattern in my thoughts and words but it wasn't until I woke up this morning that I found the root. 

I have vivid dreams. I've always had revealing dreams. I rely on them to guide me to the truth that my conscious mind finds hard to trust. Last night I was greeted with an old wound in my dream. It was so real. I was there. I was processing all the emotions - without restraints - the root of yesterdays numbness and unease. 

The cellular memory of elements/patterns in my life aligned so closely with that old wound I over-imposed the memory with the moment. 

Our bodies are brilliant scientists that can be either lazy or self-protecting depending on how you look at it. My body was feeling/experiencing elements associated with an old reaction so much so it made the assumption that it was the old pattern again. My body started to activate that old cellular memory - but I am not me that first experienced that wound. How can I react the same way to a different situation as a different person? 

Have you felt this before? How do we unlearn old reactions? I think for me the dream was the first step - the process of acknowledging. 

Love to you and your journey of evolving awareness.

11 November 2015

.n e w moon in scorpio.

“When I am in fear I want more and more,
Love, money, and power than ever before.
But when my eyes open I begin to see,
That I always get just what I need.”

I felt myself wanting more and more today and then I read Kaypacha's words. So many feelings/thoughts/awareness running through my body + mind today on this new moon in scorpio. I am being pushed to look into my shadow and ask challenging questions. I love new moons and all that they purge and the clarity that follows. I hope you are looking inwards - honoring your heart - setting new intentions.

A little more about this new moon:

"A new moon in Scorpio strips us down and demands that we claim what we are at the core."

"Because if we don’t, it is all too easy for the world to hold it against us. Because if we don’t, life has a tendency to talk us out of our dreams. Because if we don’t, we run the risk of never knowing what we came here to become."

"This new moon is here to teach us that if we want to align our power with our purpose we must work with our power consciously. Giving it away won’t work. Hoping someone else will do it for us won’t get it done. We must work with our power and work towards developing all we have been given because nothing leads us to our purpose quicker than using our power in ways that make the most of what we’ve been gifted."

via Chani Nicholas

“This is about healing you. Healing your heart and mind. This Moon can heal your heavy heart. Let go. Surrender. Love you more than the need for something or someone in your life.

“The Scorpio New Moon message is to trust your instincts. The mind can fool you. The eyes and ears can fail you…Use your inner power….Strengthen your intuition. It is like a muscle. Build it up. The more you use it. The stronger your intuition becomes.”

“We in the Northern Hemisphere can follow the example of trees, the infallible and natural gurus of the time.

“…An autumn leaf is busy with purposeful activity. The trees are dismantling the chlorophyll in their leaves, drawing its nutrients back into their centers, storing its energy for new growth in spring…”
“By releasing something, we will draw new energy into our core."

08 November 2015

.pop up.

I've basically been living in the studio this week preparing for tomorrow's pop up market. It's felt so good to have a push/challenge/deadline. So grateful for an opportunity to share my art.

05 November 2015

.trusting my process.

I've been thinking a lot about how much time (energy) I give to judging myself - judging my process. 

I found this picture from the road trip with my sister this summer up the New England coastline. I was so frustrated with myself this summer. I had just made a shift to allow more time/space/energy to make more and yet I didn't want to make. There were days of wondering if I made the right decision - judging myself - forcing myself to make things. I couldn't make anything I liked until finally I just let go. 

I let go to the whole process. 
I listened to my body. 
I went traveling with my sister up the coastline and totally fell in love with New England in the summer. 
I took a ferry to an Island in Rhode Island. 
I camped on Cape Cod. 
I watched the sunset on the beach and the blood moon rise. 
I went to the free city pool with a picnic like the locals. 
I fed myself with new places - new experiences. 

I needed it. 
I needed to feed my soul again. 
I needed to reconnect. 

Now the weather is cooling, I'm finding a rhythm, I have better access to myself and I'm making all because of this summer and trusting the process - my process. 

I hope you are listening to your process and trusting your natural rhythm because it will led to you where you need to go and give you what you'll need when you do get there.