15 June 2015

.lake michigan.

My flight over Lake Michigan really memorized me this time, it's vastness and depth. I have been working on a new series of jewelry pieces for the past few months, slowly evolving and emerging from the experiences of my long cold isolating winter in Boston. The series is called "unveiling truths" and the pieces hold an ambiguity, they might feel unfinished or lacking - illustrating the process of how we find truths inside, sitting and waiting to be grasped. I really connected with these thoughts I have been forming and chewing on when I flew over Lake Michigan last week. The depth of the lake - this false sense of knowing something and as soon as I hold onto that I loose it only to then gain a new perspective (truth) of what it is (appears to be) - like the depth of the lake. As soon as I think I see the bottom I realize I am barely below the surface - such as our own knowledge of self (truths) as soon as we hold onto something it evaporates are we are left only with the truth of more questions - constantly unveiling themselves. 

I realize the only thing I can hold onto are the question marks. 

p.s. I'll be sharing pieces of the "unveiling truth" series soon. Stay tuned!! 

05 June 2015


I am back in Chicago after many months. It's so strangely familiar feeling being back here. I have a art show with my dear metalsmith friend/mentor this weekend. It's a big step for my jewelry - I haven't done an art show for years now and I am thrilled to be back at it!

I am feeling so inspired right now with all the sights and perspectives of being in a familiar space and getting reacquainted with it.

.full moon in sagittarius.

A beautiful challenging journey just ended for me Tuesday night on the full moon in Sagittarius. Sometimes life can be so confusing and then these delicately poetic moments appear. That was Tuesday night. Surrounded by my family of teens that I have spent the last 9 months with - growing and learning together it was like a beautiful empowering birth that gave all those moments of confusion meaning, I just couldn't see it at the time. 

So grateful for this journey I am on and all the transitions that give me so much energy and love when I let go of them. I tend to associate time with success or longevity with success so experiences like this, 9 months seem like they need more - more time - more purpose - more substance but that's not true. Time has no correlation with value. I don't have the words to express what it was like to sit in a space with these beautiful beings last night and hear them share stories of being inspired by one another. People that outside of this space would have no connection to each other - they all represent such different worlds and yet here right here they all opened up challenged themselves - made themselves vulnerable to experience life in such a big way at 16-17-18 year olds! To dive blindly off that cliff. The determination and passion of humans is such an astounding gift to experience. I have the honor of watching these individuals blindly jump off of a cliff and figure out how to land. I am most grateful for these months/moments and for the calming reassurance that this is my path this is my journey- to find a challenge surrender to it. To build community - challenge norms and live my truth!! 

Happy full moon (a few days late!!) to you! I hope this dreamy moon is highlighting all the beauty in your truths.

30 May 2015

.on that block, again.

I realized this week I'm on that block again. You know that block. The one you keep walking again and again...but usually I think I am on a different block. Something starts to feel familiar but I think I can't be here again...this is different. I let go of that habit and would never walk that block again...but sure enough Thursday evening I was laying on my back in small office room with one of those generic canvas pictures of a mystical foggy tree lined street hanging on the wall receiving an acupuncture treatment and I realized, yep I am right there, again. I am on that block and I've been on it for awhile! I am a stubborn learner!

I am stressed. I've been stressed. I've been holding onto my stress like a dear companion. I've been treating stress like it's an inspirational motivator for me. I have had a overflowing work schedule for the past few weeks and a huge jewelry opportunity and both events are culminating within 12 hours of each other!! So I am working two full-time job to manage both. It's overwhelming which leads to a lack of focus at work and making mistakes in the studio. BUT for some reason I found myself on that block again. That block that says, "holding on to those unrealistic expectations and the stress that accompanies them will make you MORE productive!" This has never ever ever been true. I have tried it many times, holding on to that stress - forcing things - only finding myself depleted when the moment arrives. Instead of, acknowledging my unrealistic expectations - letting them (and the stress that companions them) go - allowing myself to focus on what I am doing, right here - where I am.

I told my acupuncturist all of this, she just smiled and said "all we can hope is to continue to recognize that block (pattern) a little sooner next time, until some day we learn to totally avoid it."

Do you have blocks (patterns) that you frequent? How do you recognize them? What allows you to acknowledge and let go of them?
I went to the studio last night and started working on a piece and realized sometimes we just have to walk into and through path/block/pattern -in order to recognize it - in order to take the power away - in order to realize that is apart of the process.

24 May 2015

.make your plan.

I am so inspired by the simplicity of this message, make your plan today!! So many times I want change to happen right in this very moment and when it doesn't happen I get lost in the disappointment/frustration. What if I took that energy and instead of spending it on disappointment I redirected it into making a plan? What a difference it would make!! 

What's your dream? 

What's your plan going to be?

22 May 2015

.getting lost.

Yesterday I was working in a neighborhood that I’ve never been to before and because of this I had to take a new way home. I looked at the map before I left I assumed I would be able to figure it out, this is typical of me to assume I can figure it out. I can figure it out – it just almost always takes more time than I expect. I am an Aries so I need to figure things out for myself even if it is frustrating or takes more time. SO typical me moment, I started riding home and after about a mile of riding I began to feel like I wasn’t going the right direction anymore…thankfully some kind man stopped riding to redirect me. Since I rode past the original path I was on a different bike path that ended up being a conservation byway. It was beautiful – lush and green – running parallel with the Charles river. The view looked like I had been transported to the swampy south with the low hanging trees and the brimming river. Beautiful.

This has been a stressful week – there are transitions happening in my life with tight deadlines – I needed to “get lost” – I needed to just go for a bike ride and enjoy the view. If we (I) stop ourselves (myself) from reacting when plans/expectations stray the anticipated course we (I) can find some beautiful lessons/moments/ events RIGHT when we (I) need them.

Always trust that the Universe is taking care of you and giving you what you need.
So grateful.

21 May 2015

.the journey.

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – – –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – – –
though their melancholy
was terrible. It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – – – determined to save
the only life you could save.

.mary oliver.