Life is fascinating and mighty - vibrant yet intricate and delicate.

Loss (birth) has become a REAL element of my life - a conscious element of my life - something I look at head on - breathe into - let mold me into a more empathetic vulnerable me.

We all experience loss (birth) on a daily basis in many forms - the loss of a loved one to a simple expectation. To all of you (us) I hold that space of love, patience, time and send you a wave of healing because with each loss there is renewal (birth).

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I'm moving across the country and I'm moving forward to life that lives in Birth (loss). My world will soon revolve and exist on this entrance and exit. WOW. Who will this make me? What will my baseline thoughts be? How will I interact with the rest of the world? The middle (messy) parts?

As I get ready to go I begin to accept/face the loss of a soon to be former me/rejoice in the birth of the new self.

I hold on. It's beautiful.



Love to all the beautiful people who rise to meet the road, who realize we can't change life but we can change our reactions.

love love love.

.t w e n t y n i n e.

Photo Source, my other wish would be for THIS to be my bday dinner party!!

29 years of a life worth living. I feel blessed on the regular to have lived a life up to this moment full of beauty, rich love, passions, adventures, and many a challenges.

I came across this Kahlil Gibran quote yesterday, 

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain…When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

The 28^th year of my life was super intense and filled with huge levels of joy and sorrow – transitioning me to a more raw authentic self – 29 is going to be the year of tasting all these complex flavors!

I always make a list of wishes every birthday, one for every year. This year I’ll make one too but really I have one big wish (challenge) that has been in the works but after reading this I realized that the time is NOW. I’m getting a touring bike and I’m going for a long ride. The details will come later, maybe just a week or maybe more but I am honored to have been reminded (once again!) life is PRECIOUS and beautifully FRAGILE and I never want to  forget to live every moment and be thankful for the ability to move my body and connect with this world. 

.dream list.

It's that time of year to fill yourself with silly wishes and wants...but what's wrong with celebrating YOU. I think we need to have some fun more often.

Here are mine:

I want to smell like THIS. (tocca perfume)
I want to listen to THIS  and THIS on repeat. (taken by trees/camila moreno)
I want to wear THIS on my back e'eryday. (woolybison backpack)
I want to wear THIS on my finger. (lolide)
I want to eat THIS at least once a week. (Julia Child)
I want to put THIS on my wall. (samantha french)
I want to wear THIS oh and THIS e'eryday. (sheilacouture/arch109)
I want to decorate a wall with THIS. (sequins)

I want to cuddle up in THIS. dreamy. (OASAP)

.as of late.

happy weekend to all you beautiful souls. 


I'm writing with much to celebrate, be grateful for, and to update. As I'm sure you've noticed (or at least my Mom) I've been off line for a while...so much has just happened! The nitty-gritty as of late is this: I attended a Natural Medicine training (amazing!) and using the training to help build an herbal garden with a local HIV+ support group, went on a two week Ladies vacation to Likoma and Chizimulu islands on Lake Malawi (see above pic) so beautiful, our grant was approved, and tomorrow will make 6 months since I have arrived in this country! Amazing! I've been sitting around waiting and waiting and when I finally just got up it all feel into my lap.


The grant: To form a Maternal Health Task force within two TA (traditional authorities) in America this would look like a county within a state (just on a MUCH smaller scale.) These two TAs are known for their high maternal mortality and increase Mother to Child transmission rates. The focus is to start a conversation between community members and Maternal Health stakeholders to look at our data and hear the reality of Maternal Health services. I'm so honored and thrilled to be here and facilitating this conversation. Maternal Health or BUST. The meetings are Monday and Tuesday and then we will culminate our grant project with a week long training (TBA) in an area determined as a high priority for improving Maternal Health systems.


So I'm off to have a late minute prep meeting, then saturday brunch with a friend, and garden planting on sunday. life is in full motion.


much love to you all always.
a

.t w e n t y e i g h t.

Some days I feel stronger, more authentic, more vibrant, and more conscious than I’ve ever felt in my entire life and then there are many moments I’m lost, crushed, weak, confused, and powerless. But then I'm beginning to think maybe those are all one. The more lost I become the more aware of myself I am, the weaker I feel the more connected I am to this soil beneath my feet and the breath of air in my lungs, maybe the more confused I get the most likely I am to let the uni-verse direct me. Maybe just maybe less of me is more.

I feel beautiful in this moment of life, this celebration of 28 years.

I came across this the other day and found it fitting for a birthday reflection:
“Remember: YOU get to decide what’s true for you. So - What does your heart want? What is your soul yearning for? Can you step into a new story and not allow what others think to hold you back?”

These are powerful questions to me, to enunciate the wants and ways of my heart. Through this journey I’ve seen light and dark – near and far, in the known and unknown, in the beautiful and ugly, in the moment and the memory. It’s ever changing and all encompassing. I’ve come to realize that I can’t find my heart’s wants in the tangible.

I want to be present, I want a connection, I want a freedom, I want strength in myself to repeal the energy from outside. I want to anchor my sailboat with my own means and look out with my eyes to see the view. I want to dispose of my labels and judgments. I want my words to have weight. I want to greet you with an open heart, share myself in a new light, a new truth. 

This year brings more experiences in Malawi, the aspiration of farming my grandpa’s orchard with my sister (more on that later...), and the thoughts of midwifery in my future. I am grateful.

Much love to you all always.