.6 years apart.

I just realized its been 6 years to the day since I returned from Ecuador - the emotions swelled up inside of me and crashed inside like that most incredible wave - taking my breath away (knocking the wind of out me for a moment) - the nostalgia. The joy - the sorrow of 27 months of my life from which it all pivoted - revealed - altered - destroyed - rejuvenated. Ecuador ripped my soul to shreds - broke my heart/spirit/body in ways I didn't know were possible. It left me washed up on the shore with no strength to get up or knowledge of where to go - so I rested for a while - I wondered if I'd ever find the strength to stand up but I did get up - I pulled myself up because I had no other way - option. 

I wandered for a good while - I followed people/signs/flashed of light - aimless until I realize that all that weakness/wounds/sorrow were the greatest gifts - ripping me free from myself - from the narrow world i'd known. Everything was open to me. My broken heart was an expanding heart.  My lost mind was my freedom. This journey is so much more complex - rich - vibrant than I could've even imagined.

Ecuador I am forever grateful
for you
you changed my life
it's been 6 years and I think
i've only began to understand
our journey together.
_________________________________________

From my last blog post in Ecuador, August 5th 2009:

"Ecuador has become home, not easily but it has and that it what has made the end of this time so beautiful, all the struggle that I encountered along the way. I’ve seen so much; I’ve been shocked, surprised, devastated, infuriated, elated making it impossible to tell you how my life is going to change and has changed. But my ambitious wish is that my actions will be the example of the changes. That I won’t even for a moment forget this life, the voices, the smells, the struggle, or the heartache. I hope to always be afflicted by the voices and the faces of those born into injustice. That the small amount of exposure you’ve had from my journey has given you a glimpse of Ecuador, a vibrant country full of wonders and struggle and from which I’ve realized despite how great our differences may seem our few commonalities will always hold us together, as one race.

So to you all I send you my love and gratitude for sharing this journey with me. I give thanks to pachamama and the people that showed me the immense beauty in life's simplicities."

.full moon in sagittarius.

A beautiful challenging journey just ended for me Tuesday night on the full moon in Sagittarius. Sometimes life can be so confusing and then these delicately poetic moments appear. That was Tuesday night. Surrounded by my family of teens that I have spent the last 9 months with - growing and learning together it was like a beautiful empowering birth that gave all those moments of confusion meaning, I just couldn't see it at the time. 

So grateful for this journey I am on and all the transitions that give me so much energy and love when I let go of them. I tend to associate time with success or longevity with success so experiences like this, 9 months seem like they need more - more time - more purpose - more substance but that's not true. Time has no correlation with value. I don't have the words to express what it was like to sit in a space with these beautiful beings last night and hear them share stories of being inspired by one another. People that outside of this space would have no connection to each other - they all represent such different worlds and yet here right here they all opened up challenged themselves - made themselves vulnerable to experience life in such a big way at 16-17-18 year olds! To dive blindly off that cliff. The determination and passion of humans is such an astounding gift to experience. I have the honor of watching these individuals blindly jump off of a cliff and figure out how to land. I am most grateful for these months/moments and for the calming reassurance that this is my path this is my journey- to find a challenge surrender to it. To build community - challenge norms and live my truth!! 

Happy full moon (a few days late!!) to you! I hope this dreamy moon is highlighting all the beauty in your truths.