.t w e n t y e i g h t.

Some days I feel stronger, more authentic, more vibrant, and more conscious than I’ve ever felt in my entire life and then there are many moments I’m lost, crushed, weak, confused, and powerless. But then I'm beginning to think maybe those are all one. The more lost I become the more aware of myself I am, the weaker I feel the more connected I am to this soil beneath my feet and the breath of air in my lungs, maybe the more confused I get the most likely I am to let the uni-verse direct me. Maybe just maybe less of me is more.

I feel beautiful in this moment of life, this celebration of 28 years.

I came across this the other day and found it fitting for a birthday reflection:
“Remember: YOU get to decide what’s true for you. So - What does your heart want? What is your soul yearning for? Can you step into a new story and not allow what others think to hold you back?”

These are powerful questions to me, to enunciate the wants and ways of my heart. Through this journey I’ve seen light and dark – near and far, in the known and unknown, in the beautiful and ugly, in the moment and the memory. It’s ever changing and all encompassing. I’ve come to realize that I can’t find my heart’s wants in the tangible.

I want to be present, I want a connection, I want a freedom, I want strength in myself to repeal the energy from outside. I want to anchor my sailboat with my own means and look out with my eyes to see the view. I want to dispose of my labels and judgments. I want my words to have weight. I want to greet you with an open heart, share myself in a new light, a new truth. 

This year brings more experiences in Malawi, the aspiration of farming my grandpa’s orchard with my sister (more on that later...), and the thoughts of midwifery in my future. I am grateful.

Much love to you all always.

hello friday.

Hello Friday. It’s so good to see you again. I’m glad you could make it. You did miss out on some stellar tortilla making the boys and I had with Thursday but just the same plans have been made and we have places to be!

I woke up to girltalk (it’s that kind of Friday), which will always reminds me of those breathtaking bus trips we took from Valpo to Santiago and then Santiago to Mendoza, which makes me miss my sister and our crazy travel adventures. Now I’m off to work, finalizing grant logistical stuff (yes, another page of signatures is required!!) then tonight there’s concert in Zomba with friends. Saturday I’m heading back to Machinga to catch the district assembly guys home soccer match (we haven’t won a match yet but it’s good bonding time?!?!). And Sunday…coffee and books.

What are your exciting weekend plans?

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update:
within 5 minutes of posting this everything mentioned above was cancelled (minus the coffee and books on sunday, of course...), welcome to malawi!

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pictures:
Left: Ossie on the hunt for the best guava
Right: Success. p.s. how can you not fall in love with that guy?