I'm out west in the arid foothills of the cascade mountains, my hometown. I've been going on daily walks in my favorite places. I cherish so many corners of this place - the colors + textures and the knowing of a place so deeply.
Three days ago I went on a hike and looked at a sagebrush I remembered collecting sage from years ago. Yesterday, I went on a hike and remembered my favorite patch of winter blooms from a visit last year. Today I walked next to the Columbia river and remembered hot summer days of kayaking thru inlets and that cove where the sparrows sit in the high trees and squak so loud it drowns out the sound of traffic that echoes of the empty field next to the trail. Maybe it's because I travel so much that there is such a richness to visit these dear places, again and again or maybe it's just the connection I have to here because it's the land that raised me.
I'm so grateful for it - this land feeds me. It taught me how to have a relationship with land. I walk these special corners with such gratitude of the colors + textures + sounds.
Do you have places you visit? Where are there? Are they places you've known forever or are they new?
It amazes me how one moment can change/refresh/illuminate something and slightly change the reflection of everything else. The past few weeks I have felt a lot of movement in my life - a lot of new reflections. I balance my time between reacting and sitting back curiously observing, trying to understand my feelings and my expectations and release them both.
Yesterday the city cut down the huge old linden tree in front of our house to prepare for more construction this summer. They say Boston has two seasons, winter and construction. The intense sun and muggy afternoons are finally back so construction season is here. I left the house in the morning and came back in the evening to find no tree and a home that seemed unknown. The entire street felt different - empty - stark - poor. It's amazing the influence of one thing in an environment. It made me think off all that I surround myself with and absorb - the perspectives and energies.
What do I pick up?
What do I expose myself to?
I'm headed out to the cape this weekend and so excited for a long quite drive by myself and some nourishing beach time. I feel like I process so much on long drives. Growing up on the west coast - long drives are just apart of life. Living in Central Washington you drive to Seattle, everyone does. 3-hour drive up out of the valley and up over the winding mountains and down into Seattle. It always gave me time and space and solitude - climbing up the mountains - thinking. Living on the East Coast for almost 2 years now I really feel how space/environment influences/effects humans and our interactions. The density of the East and the vastness of the West.
It's beautiful how connected me all are to each other - the seasons - the earth - constant movement - the impermanence of it all.
I've been spending a lot of time being busy lately. I do this before a shift of change happens - I can feel it and instead of sitting and looking at it directly I start moving faster - doing more - connecting less.
I met an artist at a wedding this weekend. We were taking the bus over to the wedding venue and she was sitting right behind me. She was such a beautiful thoughtful woman - she was so open to share about her art and journey with me, we just connected instantly. I was asking her what medium she usually works with and she started to share that she's always experimenting but lately having moved to live on a farm in the country she wasn't making as much and felt a change coming. I totally understood what she was saying and shared that I had quit my job a year ago to do my art almost full-time and was now feeling a shift coming in how I spent my time. I sometimes feels so privileged to share that I quit my job to make art and she was so quick to ask "but WHY do you feel that way? Because our society doesn't value art. We value people living lives that they have been told/conditioned to follow and we get stuck there because change is SCARY. Good for you for not listening to that!" It's those beautiful little moments that I know I am right where I am suppose to be and that I have to stay open because the Universe is always sending me messages that I need to hear to be reminded/encouraged along this path. I agreed with her that change IS scary that my go-to is usually to really follow my heart and then right as a shift is coming I get nervous and go back to working a job in public health where I can get consistent pay and benefits. I asked what her art was evolving into now and she said "I don't know. It just feels like something big but I don't know what it is yet." I totally agreed with her sharing that to me it feels like this big wave is building up inside of me what I don't know where it's going to take me too. She said "I use that wave analogy all the time for change."
So grateful for all these moments of authenticity - moments of clarity - moments of connection.
