24 February 2016
I've felt so OVERWHELMED lately about the goodness of HERE and the uncertainty of THERE. I've been grabbing - holding onto the goodness because it's good and I don't know what's coming. I go to that place of non-abundance, this is SO good something just as good or even better can't follow this, better enjoy it while it lasts. This has been a forever pattern for me in transitions and I'm just becoming aware of it in a new way.
When something wonderful happens it surprises me. I squeeze it so tight because I don't think I deserve it.
Do you ever feel that way?
I've really questioned this pattern this past week riding the rollercoaster of fear of what's coming and the joy of all the fruits of this trip. Then yesterday happened.
I have ONE WEEK left here. I have ONE jewelry classes left. I have a friend coming today to spend a few days with me in my town and then we're heading to Lisbon to meet another friend. So with the week planned out yesterday was my day to just soak up my town by myself - get ready for the week and go to my favorite places in town. I went to my favorite store in Tavira and met the most vibrant wild woman. We instantly connected. She said she could tell I was a woman of the world when I walked in. We started talking about naturopathic medicine, places we've lived and herbal teas! I told her I was sad that I hadn't met her before now and she said that we meet everything in the right moment. I totally believe this and when she said that I knew why I connected with her because I had met her before in different manifestations. I met a version of her when I was about 13 or 14, she was a wild woman that owned a bead shop in town and also the person to teach me how to make my first pair of earrings. I was so drawn to her energy - an energy I found in myself that I hadn't understood before I saw it reflected. These wild women always come into my life in just the right moment to remind me that I am wild - today and forever, it's just who I am. When we left each other she said "estas viva!! You are alive! Don't ever lose that!"
I realized that all the goodness that I have found here is the goodness inside of myself. She was just the reminder I needed to let go on the questions that don't have answers right now and enjoy all the last moments here in Portugal.
Has something like this ever happened to you?