.birth.

I came into the room late. The baby's head was peaking out but Mama was stressed and possessed, I thought it was her first baby due to her resistance, thrashing her body around on the bed. I had to take fetal heart tones and was sure she was going to end up kicking me in the face. Grabbing the bed posts screaming "no puedo,  no puedo" and then bouncing her body up grabbing her thigh where she had a cramp. Her belly was small and I wondered what her story was, what is she letting go of right now - nervous erratic like she wasn't ready for her baby to meet this world. 

She gave another push and there was the head and it seemed like instantly the baby was born. And in that very moment the high energy evaporated and a sweet subtleness fell on the room. She exhaled loudly and held her baby. Her face soften and she immediately started thanking everyone in the room. And then she said "es una nina, no? una nina?" and the Midwife said "mira a tu bebe" so she picked her baby up from her chest and exclaimed crying "es nina". The Midwife checked her for any tears and more softness settled into the room and she started telling her daughter how she was almost born in the car, crossing the border. 

She lives in a town an hour and a half from the border with no family in El Paso so she didn't leave home until contractions started. This was her third baby - so you never know how much time you have. She said the contractions came fast and strong as they were waiting in line to cross over. She kept holding her breath and telling her baby not to come, but babies know when they need to come. So looking back at her very physical birth - it was just her trying tell her body that it was safe to relax and let the baby come. It was now time. 

Oh the love of a Mama - is unbelievable.
Birth.