24 July 2012

.no soy yo.

"...yo, no soy yo, por lo menos no soy el mismo yo interior."
.ernesto "che" guevara.

“I’m not me anymore. At least I’m not the me I was before”  
This beautifully perfect imperfect moment is closing and as I watch it slip from my finger tips to below the horizon the powerful words of che resinate in my mind. I am not myself. How could I be? This moment has washed over me and I let its force affect me, raw and alive. I am not me anymore or at least I'm not the me I was before. The moment was indescribable so I give you these simple words to take and understand as you can and will.

My goodbyes have been said, 38 hours of travel is under my belt, and I am stateside. Riding the ebb and flow of change and constantly reminding myself to stop paddling out to the waves. I have arrived to the sweet embrace of my family and I'm looking forward to having this time with them during my transition. I'm a driven high energy person. I strive for the best and always want to take advantage of the potential. Yet sometimes (
most of the time) that force can barrel me from the NOW to imagining the NEXT. Transitioning from heavy full moments before I have sprinted to the next moment and along the way lost so many beautiful nuances of the changing times. This time I'm hoping to remember to breathe and savour every morsel.

Every one of you reading this now have guided me through this journey with love, encouragement, and energy. 

I'm beyond grateful.

My heart is so full to think of seeing all my loves face to face, but I'm going to take this space to energize, process, and hold my family tight. I want to see you, I can't wait to see you, but it might be a little bit.

celebrating the NOW.
much love to you all always.

"Do not worry about how you will make it all work. Just focus on how you feel and go towards those things that bring forth joy. When you are living in your joy, the Universe is living joyfully through you. When you are living a life of fear, the Universe is dying and becoming smaller. Remember you are a child of the Universe and everything the Universe provides is abundant. The sun shines rays of joy, the bird sings a song of joy, the tree joyfully grows to provide shade and keep the air clean. Everything has a purpose and when we are living in our joyful purpose we will be supported because the Universe loves joy. It takes a little bit of time to go from fear to joy, but if you stay steady and keep the course you will at last come to see that your joy can be your reality. Trust in promise of joy, it is your birthright."
.Jackson Kiddard.