.stories to tell.

I was just reading Mark Nepo this morning, he was talking about stories - our stories. We all have stories to tell inside of us. We need to tell stories - over and over and over again. We need to tell them until we can understand them. It's only when we understand them can we let them go.

I haven't been making anything in the studio for the past few months. I was going to the studio but finding a big brick wall every time. I wasn't making anything, just starting and stopping - over and over again. I felt frustrated and emotional - the studio is my space to unload/recharge/root myself amongst all this movement and transition. It wasn't until Tuesday morning I decided to change my mindset, instead of going in with several pieces designed I was going to try to make just one pair of earrings - no expectations - no judgement - no bigger plan, just one pair. I made a pair of earrings. It felt so good. It gave me another idea so I made another pair of earrings. Just like that I was making again - slowly - less productive. I was allowing one idea to build organically onto another idea. It wasn't until yesterday and really this morning after readying Nepo that I was reminded, I make jewelry to tell my story. I just haven't known what story I wanted to tell - what story I needed to tell.

I'm back in the studio making jewelry, differently but I'm still telling my story over and over and over again until I understand it. When I understand it I'll release the story and find another story I need to tell thru my jewelry.

We are all storytellers.

How do you tell your stories?? I'd love to hear.

.empty your mind.

It feels like such a long time since I've left/given anything to this space. 

I'm still here. 

I've been moving/traveling/exploring and living out of a backpack for over a month. I had to move out of my apartment and then couched hopped until I took a trip home to Washington state. It had been a year since I had gone "home" and it was just as beautiful as I remember. It felt so good to know the land of Washington, to not look up something on google maps. I spent the majority of the time at the lake, a beautiful lake where I spent every summer growing up. It felt so nourishing to swim,  sunbath, read and talk endless while you float in the crisp water. 

I went back to the East Coast for a week and now I'm in the Midwest - trying to "figure out" what's next - trying to be present here in someone else's home with only a few belongings of my own. I was telling my sister the other days I just don't feel grounded enough in myself to figure out what to do next...how do I make a decision from this place? Then this morning I read Mark Nepo and as also in perfect time, 

"Two scientist traveled halfway around the world to ask a Hindu sage what he thought about their theories. When they arrived, he kindly brought them into his garden and poured them tea. Though the two small cups were full, the sage kept pouring. Tea kept overflowing and the scientists politely but awkwardly said, "Your holiness. the cups can hold no more." The sage stopped pouring and said, "your minds are like cups. You know too much. Empty your minds and come back. Then we'll talk.""

 -Leroy Little Bear, 

The Book of Awakening

Mark Nepo went on to say 

"If at times you feel numb or distanced from the essence of what you know, perhaps your mind, like the sage's teacup, is too full. Perhaps, like a bowl too full of fish, your deepest thoughts have no room to move. Perhaps we all need from time to time to dump out all that doesn't stick."

And I realized maybe this journey of moving from west to east to midwest, living out of a small backpack is the process of dumping out all that doesn't stick. It's uncomfortable but something good is coming. Something good is here. I've never been where I am right now and I need open spaces to see it. I have to let go of what I've been holding onto to be able to grow in the ways that I need to - moving into the future. Maybe this is the Universe blowing through me. 

Life is SO powerful and challenging and I'm forever grateful to be a student of it's lessons.