.full moon in capricorn.

I had a visit from an old lesson yesterday - I was mad and frustrated to meet again. To realize I have to try again - try harder - try differently. I have to learn my patterns. To realize that I (have and still) am going to travel this road over and over again until it teaches me all I need to digest it - to release it. 

Yesterday I realized the pattern (lesson) and saw how holding onto the guilt of expectation - of not voicing my needs breaks down my flow and disconnects myself from reality. I was so annoyed at myself for being in this situation, being able to see in the moment the clear (disconnected) steps I took to reach this very place. Then I remembered what a friend who does body work recently told me, we have to feel it to heal it. Yes! 

Last night was the full moon in capricorn bring up these under unresolved issues. Mystic mamma said "the Full Moon’s promise is that if you can fess up to reality and see what hides in the darkness, you’ll have a better chance of conjuring up a strategy to overcome it." 

We have to go thru - not around to get where we are going. We feel it. 
That moment of stagnant energy. 
That moment of guilt. 
That moment of not being true to ourselves - only lead us where we need to go. 

To see these moments as the beautiful (uncomfortable) truths that we are alive and learning (unlearning) ourselves over and over again. Be kind to yourself.

.to do list.

I had such a reminder this week to

s l o w down

take d e e p e r breaths

p r a c t i c e gratitude

l i s t e n more  and  t a l k less

do l e s s with m o r e intention

b e mindful

.the process of art.

Sometimes it can take a day, a week or a year to make a piece. Each piece has it's own time, process and personality. Much like people (teachers) that come into our lives. Sometimes it's slow and steady - growing with someone over time, sometimes it's a mere flash - slit second impact, sometimes like magic someone will appear and in that moment it feels like you've always been connected, sometimes you walk with someone so long you can't remember ever walking without them and then you look away for a moment and they're gone - like that pathway never existed, sometimes your path gets windy and even though you walk alone their path keeps bumping into yours and it's always at the right moment...so many teachers we find.

Art has been one of my greatest teachers. Teaching me to be patient, not force (control), not hold expectations only openness to let things move through me and to hold onto only amazement when they do - so beautifully. 

I've been so inspired by metal forms the past few months - making small wearable structures. I made a pendant about 3 weeks ago but didn't know how to make it into a necklace. It's just been sitting on my bedroom shelves staring at me. Then today I wandered to a fabric store and found it - the missing piece. I saw it and I knew it was the perfect combo. I am going to finish the piece.

So grateful for these lessons in awareness. Just like relationships - don't judge or categorize or compare - see what they are offering and gracious accept it - a gift.