30 May 2015

.on that block, again.

I realized this week I'm on that block again. You know that block. The one you keep walking again and again...but usually I think I am on a different block. Something starts to feel familiar but I think I can't be here again...this is different. I let go of that habit and would never walk that block again...but sure enough Thursday evening I was laying on my back in small office room with one of those generic canvas pictures of a mystical foggy tree lined street hanging on the wall receiving an acupuncture treatment and I realized, yep I am right there, again. I am on that block and I've been on it for awhile! I am a stubborn learner!

I am stressed. I've been stressed. I've been holding onto my stress like a dear companion. I've been treating stress like it's an inspirational motivator for me. I have had a overflowing work schedule for the past few weeks and a huge jewelry opportunity and both events are culminating within 12 hours of each other!! So I am working two full-time job to manage both. It's overwhelming which leads to a lack of focus at work and making mistakes in the studio. BUT for some reason I found myself on that block again. That block that says, "holding on to those unrealistic expectations and the stress that accompanies them will make you MORE productive!" This has never ever ever been true. I have tried it many times, holding on to that stress - forcing things - only finding myself depleted when the moment arrives. Instead of, acknowledging my unrealistic expectations - letting them (and the stress that companions them) go - allowing myself to focus on what I am doing, right here - where I am.

I told my acupuncturist all of this, she just smiled and said "all we can hope is to continue to recognize that block (pattern) a little sooner next time, until some day we learn to totally avoid it."

Do you have blocks (patterns) that you frequent? How do you recognize them? What allows you to acknowledge and let go of them?
I went to the studio last night and started working on a piece and realized sometimes we just have to walk into and through path/block/pattern -in order to recognize it - in order to take the power away - in order to realize that is apart of the process.

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