I've been in El Paso a week and a half and in school for a week. It's been intense and fast. We already learned how to do initial prenatal appointments, shadowed shifts at the clinic, and learned venipuncture. Yesterday we had a class about cultural competencies (a limiting title to say the least). This class brought up a lot for all of us. It brought up all of our "stuff". Who are you? How do you identify yourself in this moment (as we are always changing and evolving)?
How will others identify you?
There was a lot of unknowing, a lot of confusion, a lot of emotional heaviness, and a lot of anger that was expressed in the space.
I felt angry. That despite living in a world where I understand that we judge by sight, have judged by sight, and have been judged by sight. I felt undermined. I don't identify with the way I look (I do acknowledge). I identify with my life experiences that have eroded and caressed me to this present moment.
We are complex intricate beings full of vibrancy and potential. Don't fall prey to the single story.
I came to El Paso because I'm fascinated by borderlife. I'm enthralled with the nuances of this culture. Although, I had a hard time making this decision because of my concerns of being an outsider coming into the community unknown, unannounced to provide the most crucial care a Woman will receive in her life. The care of pregnancy and birth. Yesterday brought up all these emotions. I started to judge the program, my sister Midwives, and myself.
But that wasn't the point.
The point was to make myself vulnerable again. It's been a very vulnerable year for me and one that has given me a weary heart (at times) but also a great sense of gratitude and understanding.
To sit with who I am and acknowledge how I can be perceive by others without holding on to that.
Then I came across this TedTalk and it was just perfect for the moment. I really encourage everyone to watch this, the danger of a single story.
hold space for each other.