29 May 2012
I have found a gentle sweet timid nature of a people that have been oppressed, reprimanded, and exploited. This has been declared the warm heart of africa - but what is the price? If you really watch there is a fear so profound that makes me taste my bitter after taste of privilege. I'm so quick to be agitated by a "give me my money" from a stranger, a bus driver charging double the local price, and the distance placed between me and them no matter what I say or do. Although, having been born into choice and praised to speak up and out how can I be so selfish to look at a situation from my own unaccustomed eyes? Don't read this as pity - any pity can only be for my narrow view I've held onto so tightly for the past 6 month - but more I am speaking of a compassion evolving like a tide within my body meeting me at the shore slowing pulling away by gravity (time) and building (experience) as I part from the shore (my norms).
Malawi has brought me further from home and myself that ever before. I can only hope that these days of exhaustion, frustration, and total confusion will continue to blur my defined lines and fade my colors to grey.