.storytelling.

I went to a teen mom digital storytelling event last night. Their stories were complex and emotional. It felt like I was being told the dark secrets of strangers, myself and an auditorium of people. I could see the discomfort in the moms as their words were released into the room. It was the first time for many of them to tell their story. I was left with an awkward clumsy feeling at the end of the event. Here we are amongst all these complex interactions, emotional entanglements and authentic confusion moving forward without much knowledge of ourselves. The energy of the room felt chaotic to me. 

We don't know how to have these conversations. We don't know how to not cast our own shadow on the light of others. We don't know how to listen and then hear what is being shared with us.

Our stories are to be told
I hope that we never stop telling our stories
I hope we find new strength in our truths every time we tell them
I hope that we find that roaring thunder of unconditional love for all the dips - valleys - peaks that we've journeyed to arrive right here
right here

and maybe by telling our stories we will be better able to listen and hear the stories of others.

.hold space.

I've been in El Paso a week and a half and in school for a week. It's been intense and fast. We already learned how to do initial prenatal appointments, shadowed shifts at the clinic, and learned venipuncture. Yesterday we had a class about cultural competencies (a limiting title to say the least). This class brought up a lot for all of us. It brought up all of our "stuff". Who are you? How do you identify yourself in this moment (as we are always changing and evolving)? 

woman
artist
explorer
cultivator
student

How will others identify you?

white
woman
american
privileged
late twenties

There was a lot of unknowing, a lot of confusion, a lot of emotional heaviness, and a lot of anger that was expressed in the space. 

I felt angry. That despite living in a world where I understand that we judge by sight, have judged by sight, and have been judged by sight. I felt undermined. I don't identify with the way I look (I do acknowledge). I identify with my life experiences that have eroded and caressed me to this present moment. 

We are complex intricate beings full of vibrancy and potential. Don't fall prey to the single story.

white

woman

american

privileged

late twenties

I came to El Paso because I'm fascinated by borderlife. I'm enthralled with the nuances of this culture. Although, I had a hard time making this decision because of my concerns of being an outsider coming into the community unknown, unannounced to provide the most crucial care a Woman will receive in her life. The care of pregnancy and birth. Yesterday brought up all these emotions.  I started to judge the program, my sister Midwives, and myself. 

But that wasn't the point. 

The point was to make myself vulnerable again. It's been a very vulnerable year for me and one that has given me a weary heart (at times) but also a great sense of gratitude and understanding.

To sit with who I am and acknowledge how I can be perceive by others without holding on to that.

Then I came across this TedTalk and it was just perfect for the moment. I really encourage everyone to watch this, the danger of a single story. 

We are all on our journey, all trying to find our place/way/balance - beware of the single story.
hold space for each other.